Subject: Time (Page 2)

I find that the further I go back, the better things were, whether they happened or not.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics Past Situations Truth

My wife and I were happy for 20 years… then we met.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Emotions Happiness Marriage Time Wives

Anything that can be changed will be changed up until there is no time left to change anything.

Murphy’s Laws Time

The only reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen at once. (also attributed to Wheeler)

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Time

It ain't often that a man's reputation outlasts his money.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Money Time

Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.

Situations Time

If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Dance Family Past Relationships Situations Things Time

Believe me, you have to get up early if you want to get out of bed.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Situations Time

I bought a clock, but the big hand broke off of it… so I just added “ish” to every number.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Time

Any committee that is the slightest use is composed of people who are too busy to want to sit on it for a second longer than they have to.

(1928 – ) British journalist, writer & columnist
People Time

The trouble with being poor is that it takes up all of your time.

(1924 – 1997) Dutch-American artist
Money Poverty Time

The human brain starts working the moment you are born and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.

(1898 – 1981) actor, singer, songwriter & movie producer
Communication Speech Time

Women reach their sexual peak after 35 years; men reach theirs after about four minutes.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Men People Sex Time Women

I admit that I live in the past, but only because housing is so much cheaper.

American comedian
Past Time

It’s not perfect, but to me on balance Right Now is a lot better than the Good Old Days.

(1939 – 2012) Irish writer & speaker
Past Time

There aren't enough days in the weekend.


Time

Life is too short to stuff a mushroom.

(1932 – ) British novelist & journalist
Cooking Food/Drink Life Time

Some have greatness thrust upon them, but not lately.

(1902 – 1963) Danish actor
People Success Time

The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Future Life Time

You may marry the man of your dreams, ladies, but fourteen years later you're married to a couch that burps.

(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
Husbands Marriage Time

What is history but a set of lies agreed upon.

(1769 – 1821) French general & politician
History Time