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Confucius say:

Jokes using puns and often risqué double-meanings 'fictitiously attributed' to Confucius, a famous Chinese philosopher (around 500 BC.) His name is used only to lend credence to the sayings of a “wise man.”

Confucius say… passionate kiss like spider's web, soon lead to undoing of fly.

Confucius say… it ok to let a fool kiss you, but don't let a kiss fool you.

Confucius say… never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be.

Confucius say… man who abuse computer get bad bytes.

Confucius say… tongue must be heavy indeed, because so few people can hold it.

Confucius say… nan who piss into the wind wear yellow shoes.

Confucius say… if you turn Oriental around, he become disoriented.

Confucius say… girl who sit on lap of judge get honorable discharge.

Confucius say… look for helping hand on end of own arm.

Confucius say… just one letter makes all the difference between here and there.

Confucius say… salesperson who covers chair instead of territory always remains on bottom.

Confucius say… man who gets kicked in testicles, left holding the bag.

Confucius say… man who masturbate only screwing himself.

Confucius say… wok is what you throw at a wabbit.

Confucius say… Viagra is like Disneyland… a one hour wait for a 2-minute ride.

Confucius say… women are like convertibles, both more fun with their top down.

Confucius say… heaviest thing to carry is a grudge.

Confucius say… never marry a woman with big hands… it will make dick look smaller.

Confucius say… 400 pound lady, who likes both men and women, is a bisexual built for two.

Confucius say… if a soda can goes to school, it will take fizz ed.

Confucius say… drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts.