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Tom Swifties:

A Tom Swifty is a phrase in which a quoted sentence is linked by a pun to the manner in which it is attributed. The name comes from the Tom Swift series of books.

“You resemble a goat,” said Tom satirically.

“I only have diamonds, clubs and spades,” said Tom heartlessly.

“Employees are not permitted to have sex on company furniture,” Tom shouted, banging on the table.

“I know what herb would taste nice with this,” said Tom sagely.

“I’m wearing my wedding ring”, said Tom with abandon.

“I’ve got sand in my dinner,” said Tom grittily.

“I used to command a battalion of German ants,” said Tom exuberantly.

“Strike three,” Tom called out.

“I’m the butcher’s assistant,” said Tom cuttingly.

“I was raised in a foster home,” said Tom transparently.

“I’m trying to get some air circulating under the roof,” said Tom fanatically.

“I got this ballpoint pen from a Yugoslav friend”, said Tom acerbically.

“Sorry! I’ve accidentally pierced your cheek instead,” said Tom mysteriously.

“Don’t let me drown in Egypt!” pleaded Tom, deep in denial.

“I can see you,” peeped Tom with his hands over his eyes.

“I’m burning aromatic substances,” said Tom, incensed.

“But a totalitarian government could remove all trace of my ever having existed!” said Tom unpersonably.

“My fellow Americans,” boomed Ronald Reagan, “I have just signed legislation to outlaw the state of Russia for ever…”

“I’ve got to stop this motor,” Tom choked.

“We need more people like Ronald Reagan and Ronald McDonald,” said Tom moronically.

“Don’t you know my name?” asked Tom swiftly.