Subject: Insults

A tortured man who sprayed his loathing on anyone within range.

(1920 – 2006) American actress

If ignorance ever goes to $40 a barrel, I want drilling rights on George Bush’s head.

(1943 – ) U.S. agriculture commissioner, columnist, activist & author

The boy’s about as sharp as a bowling ball.

cartoon character (Mel Blanc)

Yeah, I make fun of blacks, and why not? … I’m not a black.

(1926 – 2017) American stand-up comedian & actor

He couldn’t mastermind an electric bulb into a socket.

(1891 – 1951) comedian, singer, theater & film actress

Walter Mondale has all the charisma of:a speed bump.

(1952 – ) American political satirist

His favorite exercise is climbing tall people.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress

Larry the Cable Guy has everything: sleeveless shirts, stupid catchphrases; he’s Mr. T without the acting chops.

Lisa Lampanelli (1961 – ) American stand-up comedian

If he’d been making shell cases during the war it might have been better for music.

(1835 – 1921) French Late-Romantic composer, conductor & pianist

I see her as one great stampede of lips directed at the nearest derriere.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter

Utter cowards who force their own children to drink wine, they gibber like baboons even when you try to speak to them in their own wimpy language.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist

Sure, 90% of science fiction is crud; that’s because 90% of everything is crud.

(1918 – 1985) science fiction author

He’s a nice guy, but he played too much football with his helmet off.

(1908 – 1973) 36th U.S. president

His voice was the most obnoxious squeak I ever was tormented with.

(1775 – 1834) English critic & essayist

I am going to hell and I’m looking forward to it… I’ll finally get to meet Madonna.

(1965 – ) American comedian

Fame has sent a number of celebrities off the deep end, and in the case of Michael Jackson, to the kiddy pool.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator

I think Nancy does most of his talking; you’ll notice that she never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor

I was well warned about English food, so it did not surprise me, but I do wonder sometimes, how they ever manage to prise [lever] it up long enough to get a plate under it.

(1910 – 1997) American writer

Nigel Mansell is the only man who goes to Nick Faldo for charisma lessons.

English actor & television personality

R2D2 has gotten more work since “Star Wars” than Carrie Fisher.

(1955 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor

He was so narrow minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes.

(1944 – 2007) newspaper columnist, political commentator, humorist & author