Subject: Insults (Page 2)

George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill: Am reserving two tickets for you for my premiere. Come and bring a friend – if you have one.

Churchill’s reply: Impossible to be present for the first performance; will attend second – if there is one.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Entertainment Insults People

Some people can stay longer in an hour than others can in a week.

(1837 – 1920) American author
Insults People Relationships Time

I am reading Henry James… and feel myself as one entombed in a block of smooth amber.

(1882 – 1941) English novelist, essayist, publisher & feminist
Books Insults

The only reason he had a child is so that he can meet babysitters.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host
Insults People

Henry James would have been vastly improved as a novelist by a few whiffs of the Chicago stockyard.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Insults Reviews/Criticism

Hollywood is a sewer with service from the Ritz Carlton.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Hollywood Insults Places

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Appearance Insults

He has committed every crime that does not require courage.

(1804 – 1881) British prime minister, politician & author
Characteristics Crime Insults

Every politician should have been born an orphan and remain a bachelor.

(1912 – 2007) U.S. first lady, wife of Lyndon Johnson
Government Insults Politicians

I'll bet your father spent the first year of your life throwing rocks at storks.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Insults TV/Movie Quotes

I have just read your dispatch about sore-tongued and fatigued horses; will you pardon me for asking what the horses of your army have done since the battle of Antietam that fatigues anything?

(1809 – 1865) 16th U.S. president
Insults

She [Roseanne] actually had ‘Property of Tom Arnold’ tattooed on her hip, which made me the fourth largest property owner in California.

(1959 – ) American actor & comedian
Insults

You're just wasting your breath and that's no great loss either!

(1904 – 1979) Jewish-American humorist, author & screenwriter
Communication Insults

Boy George is all England needs – another queen who can't dress.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Clothing England Insults Places

Some folks are wise and some are otherwise.

(1721 – 1771) Scottish poet & author
Insults Intelligence People

Why, this fellow don't know any more about politics than a pig knows about Sunday.

(1884 – 1972) 33rd U.S. president
Insults

If you live in Birmingham [England], then being awake is not necessarily a desirable state.


Insults Places

To me Pound remains the exquisite showman without the show.

(1894 – 1964) American screenwriter, director, producer, playwright & novelist
Insults

She not only expects the worst, but makes the worst of it when it happens.

(1895 – 1956) Armenian essayist, novelist, playwright, & scriptwriter
Characteristics Insults

George W. [Bush] was born on third, but thinks he hit a triple.

(1943 – ) U.S. agriculture commissioner, columnist, activist & author
Death Insults

Critics are eunuchs at a gang bang.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Communication Insults People