Subject: Insults

A wit with dunces, and a dunce with wits.

(1688 – 1744) English poet
Insults Intelligence

I once dated a guy so dumb he could not count to 21 unless he was naked.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Insults Intelligence Stupidity

The Cuban heel.

(1887 – 1966) American stage entertainer & actor
Insults

Well at least he has finally found his true love… what a pity he can’t marry himself.

(1915 – 1998) American singer & actor
Characteristics Insults

There but for the grace of God, goes God.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Insults

He’s very clever, but sometimes his brains go to his head.

(1864 –1945) Anglo-Scottish socialite, author & wit
Insults

Like rotten mackerel by moonlight, he shines and stinks.

(1773 – 1833) British politician
Insults

If idiots could fly, this would be an airport.

Insults Intelligence

"Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse… but enough about Kanye West."

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Insults

I believe that Lady Gaga is like a carnival ride; from a distance she looks fun, but up close, you don’t wanna climb on that.

(1957 – ) American comedian
Insults

You couldn't tell if she was dressed for an opera or an operation.

(1876 – 1944) American author, humorist & columnist
Appearance Clothing Insults

The stupid person's idea of the clever person.

Wisconsin politician, professor & writer
Insults Intelligence

His golf bag does not contain a full set of irons.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Golf Insults Intelligence

The biggest bug in the manure pile.

(1909 – 2003) American director & actor
Insults

He had the sort of face that makes you realize God does have a sense of humor.

American author
Appearance Insults

God, whom you doubtless remember as that quaint old subordinate of General Douglas MacArthur…

(1904 – 1979) Jewish-American humorist, author & screenwriter
Insults Opinion

He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Insults Intelligence

His idea of getting hold of the right end of the stick is to snatch it from the hands of somebody who is using it effectively, and to hit him over the head with it.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Insults

I worship the quicksand he walks in.

(1925 – 2007) humorist & columnist
Beliefs Insults Language Opinion

Donald Rumsfeld… love him or hate him, you've gotta admit: a lot of people hate him.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Emotions Insults

She looked as though butter wouldn't melt in her mouth – or anywhere else.

(1902 – 1986) English-American actress
Appearance Insults