Author P.G. Wodehouse | Just-One-Liners.com

Author: P.G. Wodehouse

He was either a man of about a hundred and fifty who was rather young for his years, or a man of about a hundred and ten who had been aged by trouble.

P.G. Wodehouse

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist

Age Insults

To find a man’s true character, play golf with him.

P.G. Wodehouse

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist

Characteristics Golf Sports

A melancholy-looking man, he had the appearance of someone who had searched for the leak in life’s gas pipe with a lighted candle.

P.G. Wodehouse

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist

Characteristics Death

He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more.

P.G. Wodehouse

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist

Intelligence

If he had a mind, there was something on it.

P.G. Wodehouse

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist

Insults Intelligence

He enjoys that perfect peace, that peace beyond all understanding, which comes at its maximum only to the man who has given up golf.

P.G. Wodehouse

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist

Golf Situations Sports Peace Serenity

And she's got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need.

P.G. Wodehouse

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist

Intelligence Wisdom

Golf, like measles, should be caught young.

P.G. Wodehouse

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist

Age Golf Sports Measles

Like the measles, love is most dangerous when it comes late in life.

P.G. Wodehouse

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist

Health Life Measles

He had the look of one who had drunk the cup of life and found a dead beetle at the bottom.

P.G. Wodehouse

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist

Appearance Insults

It is never difficult to distinguish between a Scotsman with a grievance and ray of sunshine.

P.G. Wodehouse

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist

People Places Scotland

I always advise people never to give advice.

P.G. Wodehouse

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist

Beliefs Opinion Advice

In boxing the right cross-counter is distinctly one of those things it is more blessed to give than to receive.

P.G. Wodehouse

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist

Boxing Sports Punches

Every author really wants to have letters printed in the papers; unable to make the grade, he drops down a rung of the ladder and writes novels.

P.G. Wodehouse

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist

Books Communication Reading/Writing Novels

He was a man who never let his left hip know what his right hip was doing.

P.G. Wodehouse

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist

Dance Entertainment

Sudden success in golf is like the sudden acquisition of wealth; it is apt to unsettle and deteriorate the character.

P.G. Wodehouse

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist

Age Golf Sports Success Wealth

Memories are like mulligatawny soup in a cheap restaurant. It is best not to stir them.

P.G. Wodehouse

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist

Intelligence Memory

There are three things in the world that he held in the smallest esteem – slugs, poets and caddies with hiccups.

P.G. Wodehouse

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist

Golf Sports Caddies

He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more.

P.G. Wodehouse

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist

Insults Intelligence

The voice of love seemed to call me… but it was a wrong number.

P.G. Wodehouse

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist

Emotions Love Telephone

It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them.

P.G. Wodehouse

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist

Communication Apologies

Quotes and One Liners

humorous one-liners, quotations, proverbs, Murphy's Laws & more

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