Subject: Epitaphs

Epitaphs:

Humorous, wry or ironic inscriptions from tombs or graves (or a brief statement commemorating or epitomizing) the memory of a deceased person.

Never born, Never died: visited the planet earth between December 11, 1931 and, January 19, 1990.

Epitaphs

The Lord saw good; I was lopping off wood, and down fell from the tree; I met with a check, and I broke my neck, and so Death lopped off me.

Epitaphs

James B. McCoy – Member Co. D 17th Iowa Inf. which mustered in 1165 men and mustered out 42. Participated in 19 battles and 3 sieges. Never Applied For A Pension.

Epitaphs

Elizabeth Scott lies buried here, She was born Nov 20th 1785, according to the best of her recollection.

Epitaphs

This wasn’t my idea

Epitaphs

Here lies entombed one Roger Morton, whose sudden death was early brought on; trying one day his corn to mow off, the razor slipped and cut his toe off. The toe, or rather what it grew to, an inflammation quickly flew to; the parts they took to mortifying, And poor dear Roger took to dying.

Epitaphs

Here lie the remains of John Hall, grocer. The world is not worth a fig, and I have good raisins for saying so.

Epitaphs

Here lies John Hill, a man of skill. His age was five times ten, he ne’er did good, nor ever would, had he lived as long again.

Epitaphs

She failed her breathalizer test now she lays with the best

Epitaphs

The body of Benjamin Franklin, printer like the coyer of an old book its contents torn out and stripped of its lettering and gilding, lies here food for worms. – Yet the work itself shall not be lost for it will, as he believed, appear once more in a new and more beautiful edition corrected and amended by the author.

Epitaphs

Here lies the body of Lady O’Looney, Grand-niece to Edmund Burke, Commonly called "the sublime." She was bland, passionate, and religious. Also, She painted in water-colors. Also, She sent several articles to the Exhibition.

Epitaphs

Here lies the body of John Round. Lost at sea and never found.

Epitaphs

Here lies Lester Moore. Four slugs from a .44. No Les, no more.

Epitaphs

I told you so, you damned fools.

Epitaphs

DOUBT – Martha Mae “Take the back roads!” • Bill – “It’s five o’clock somewhere!”

Epitaphs

Here lies poor Ned Pardon, from misery freed, Who long was a bookseller’s hack; He led such a damnable life in this world, I don’t think he’ll ever come back.

Epitaphs

36-33-01-24-17 – Honey you don’t know what you did for me, – Always playing the lottery. – The numbers you picked came in to play, – Two days after you passed away. – For this, a huge monument I do erect, – For now I get a yearly check. – How I wish you were alive, – For now we are worth 8.5

Epitaphs

There once was a man named Don, who fell asleep out on his lawn. They thought he was pretending to be dead, then a tombstone fell on his head. And now Don is long gone.

Epitaphs

Farewell my young companions all. From death’s arrest no age is free. Remember this, a warning call. Prepare to follow after me.

Epitaphs

Sacred to Wm Collis boat-steerer of the ship St George of New Bedford, who by the will of Almighty God was killed by a whale off this Island

Epitaphs

I’ll thank you not to put your butt on my grave.

Epitaphs