Subject: Epitaphs

Epitaphs:

Humorous, wry or ironic inscriptions from tombs or graves (or a brief statement commemorating or epitomizing) the memory of a deceased person.

I’d rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.

(234 – 149 BC) Roman statesman
Death Epitaphs

How sleep the brave who sink to rest, by all their country's wishes blest, they sleep not in their regimentals. Such things being here not deemed essentials.

Epitaphs

This wasn’t my idea

Epitaphs

A Finished Artist

Epitaphs

This we must own in justice to her shade, `Tis the first bad exit Oldfield ever made.

Epitaphs

Planted here beneath sod. At peaceful rest lies brother Claude

Epitaphs

Here lies the body of Jonathan Stout. He fell in the water and never got out, And still is supposed to be floating about.

Epitaphs

Here lies the body of Thomas Kemp, Who lived by wool and died by hemp

Epitaphs

Excuse my dust.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Epitaphs Self

This is on me.

Epitaphs

This is the last long resting place, Of Aunt Jemima Jones, Her soul ascended into space, Amidst our tears and groans, She was not pleasing to the eye, Nor had she any brain, And when she talked twas through her nose, Which gave her friends much pain, But still we feel that she was worth, The money that was spent, upon the coffin, hearse and stone (The funeral plumes were lent).

Epitaphs

Gone, but not forgiven

Epitaphs

She lived a life of virtue and died of the cholera morbus, caused by eating green fruit in hope of a blessed immortality.

Epitaphs

Here lies my corpse who was the man, That lov'd a sop in dripping pan, But now believe me I am dead, Now here the pan stands at my head, Still for sop to the last I cry'd, But could not eat and so I died, My neighbours they perhaps may laugh, When they do read my epitaph.

Epitaphs

Captain Thomas Coffin, died 1842, age 50 years. He's done a-catching cod and gone to meet his God.

Epitaphs

He married five wives, Whom he survived. At the age of 93 he walked to London, to seek a sixth but died before he found her.

Epitaphs

The dust of Melantha Gribbling Swept up at last by the Great Housekeeper

Epitaphs

#$%& @!&% #?!$% @?*&!@^#!* @*$! &!%?

Epitaphs

Here lie Walker's particles.

Epitaphs

Here lies the landlord Tommy Dent In his last cosy tenement.

Epitaphs

Here I lie, snuck as a bug in a rug – Two rows down in same cemetery – Here I lie, snugger than that other bugger

Epitaphs