Subject: Epitaphs (Page 3)

Here lies the body of Arkansas Jim. We made the mistake, but the joke's on him.

Epitaphs

Here lies John Auricular, Who in the ways of the Lord walked perpendicular.

Epitaphs

Here lie the bones of Joseph Jones who ate while he was able. But once overfed, he dropt down dead and fell beneath the table. When from the tomb, to meet his doom, he arises amidst sinners. Since he must dwell in heaven or hell, take him – whichever gives the best dinners.

Epitaphs

She lived genteely on a small income.

Epitaphs

Here lies a lewd Fellow, who, while he drew Breath, In the Midst of his Life was in Quest of his Death; Which he quickly obtain'd for it cost him his Life, For being in Bed with another Man's Wife.

Epitaphs

A man of letters it seems was he; the college made him L.L.D. The Order a P.G.W.C. Grim death has given him the G.B., and may his ashes R.I.P.

Epitaphs

He called Bill Smith a liar

Epitaphs

John Le Mesurier wishes it to be know that he conked out on November 15th. He sadly misses family and friends.

(1912 – 1983) English actor
Epitaphs

Here lie I, Martin Elginbrodde: Hae mercy o' my soul, Lord God; As I wad do, were I Lord God, And ye were Martin Elginbrodde.

Epitaphs

While on earth my knee was lame, I had to nurse and heed it. But now I’m at a better place, where I don’t even need it.

Epitaphs

Approach and read, now with your hats on, for here lies Bailie William Watson; who was famous for his thinking, and moderation in his drinking.

Epitaphs

Here lies the body of John Mound, lost at sea and never found.

Epitaphs

“Here lies my wife in earthy mold, Who when she died and naught but scold. Good friends go softly in your walking lest she should wake and rise up talking”

Epitaphs

A Man.

Epitaphs

Who lies here ? — Who do you think? 'Tis poor Will Gibson — give him a drink. Give him a drink, I'll tell you for why, when he was living, he always was dry.

Epitaphs

He didn't believe in God; And when he did, they argued.

Epitaphs

Of pneumonia supervening consumption complicated with other diseases, the main symptoms of which was insanity.

Epitaphs

THOMAS O. MURPHY – Sh-h-h.

Epitaphs

Here lies Gilles – Used no net, knew no fear, made mis-step, wound up here

Epitaphs

1890. The light of my Life has gone out. – 1891. I have struck another match.

Epitaphs

Here lies Clyde – Whose life was full – Until he tried – To milk a bull.

Epitaphs