Keyword: Diets

I’ve been on a diet for two weeks and all I’ve lost is two weeks.

(1930 – 1978) American comedian

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks.

(1902 – 1971) American comedian & singer

The second day of a diet is always easier than the first; by the second day you're off it.

(1924 – 2003) American comedian & actor

A diet is when you watch what you eat and wish you could eat what you watch.

(1897-1987) actress & comedian

I’m on a seafood diet… I see food, I eat it.

(1946 – ) singer, songwriter, author & actress

The second day of a diet is always easier than the first; by the second day, you’re off it.

(1916 – 1987) television actor & comedian

That's like the Queen Mary losing a deck chair.

(1928 – 2001) American basketball coach

Nowadays, a balanced diet is when every McNugget weighs the same!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine

No matter what I do, I cannot lose this 18 pounds… I mean I have tried everything short of diet and exercise.

American stand-up comedian

Dieting is not a piece of cake.

Diets are for those who are thick and tired of it.

She used to diet on any kind of food she could lay her hands on.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist

Another good reducing exercise consists in placing both hands against the table edge and pushing back.

(1887 – 1948) American journalist & humorist

Confucius say… Diet: food that make other people lose weight.

Those magazine dieting stories always have the testimonial of a woman who wore a dress that could slip-cover New Jersey in one photo and thirty days later looked like a well-dressed thermometer.

(1918 – 2007) American humor writer

Calorie: Basic measure of the amount of rationalization offered by the average individual prior to taking a second helping of a particular food.

A diet is a system of starving yourself to death so you can live a little longer.

(1930 – 1978) American comedian

We were the country that has more food to eat than any other country in the world, and with more diets to keep us from eating it.