Subject: Definitions

Definitions:

Humorous definitions, often through the use of puns or wordplay

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Diet: Something you keep putting off while you keep putting on.

Definitions Food/Drink

Chaperoning: A spectator spoil-sport.

Definitions

Tact: The ability to describe others as they see themselves.

Definitions

Atheist: A man who has no invisible means of support.

(1875 – 1940) Scottish novelist, historian & Governor General of Canada
Beliefs Definitions Religion

Virus: A Latin medical term meaning, “Your guess is as good as mine.”

Definitions Health

Awe: Wow of silence.

Definitions

Borrower: A man who tries to live within your means.

Definitions

Jury: A body of twelve men selected to decide which of the contestants has the better lawyer.

Definitions Government Law Lawyers

Fairy Tale: A horror story to prepare children for the newspapers.

Definitions

Nymphomania: A disease where the patient enjoys being bedridden.

Definitions Sex

Reparation: Satisfaction that is made for a wrong and deducted from the satisfaction felt in committing it.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Beliefs Definitions Money

Shyster: The other fellow’s lawyer.

Definitions Lawyers

Thanks: A down payment on the next favor.

Definitions

Bigamist: A man who keeps two himself.

Definitions Marriage

Bachelor: A guy who is footloose and fiancee-free.

Definitions Men People

Specialist: A man who knows more and more about less and less.

Definitions

Cardiology: The study of poker playing.

Activities Definitions

Death – to blink for an exceptionally long period of time.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Death Definitions

Altar: Place where a man loses control of himself.

Definitions Marriage

Chauffeur: A man who is smart enough to operate an automobile, but clever enough not to own one.

Autos Definitions Things

Gold Digger: A girl who will date any man that can pass the asset test.

Definitions Money People Women