Subject: Beliefs » Religion

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Beliefs Religion

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

Education Religion School

Catholics don't get divorced; they stay together through anger and hatred and festering misery, just like God intended.

(1953 – ) American comedian & actor
Divorce Marriage Religion

When one guy sees an invisible man he’s a nut case; ten people see him it’s a cult; ten million people see him it’s a respected religion.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Beliefs Characteristics God Intelligence Religion

If we are all God’s children, what’s so special about Jesus?

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Beliefs Religion

The only thing wrong with being an atheist is that there's nobody to talk to during an orgasm.

Beliefs Religion Sex

I’m saying I can’t afford to make no donations to no Catholic charities. If you need the money that bad, wire the Pope, he’s got more money than God.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Beliefs Religion TV/Movie Quotes

Born-Again Virgin

Beliefs Book Titles Religion

I am determined that my children shall be brought up in their father’s religion, if they can find out what it is.

(1775 – 1834) English critic & essayist
Beliefs Children Family Fathers Religion

Properly read, the Bible is the most potent force for atheism ever conceived.

(1920 – 1992) American science and science fiction author & professor
Beliefs Religion

What does an atheist say during an orgasm?

(1961 – ) American stand-up comedian
Beliefs Religion Sex

Basically, the Catholic religion is 'If it feels good – stop.’

American actor & comedian
Beliefs Religion

I even went so far as to become a Southern Baptist for a while, until I realized that they didn't hold ‘em under long enough.

(1944 – ) American singer, songwriter, novelist, humorist, politician & columnist
Beliefs Religion

Catholicism is the most adhesive religion in the world; if you joined the Taliban, you’d merely be regarded as a bad Catholic.

(1972 – ) Irish comedian & television presenter
Beliefs Religion

I'm Jewish, and I experience a lot of racism as a Jew, probably even more than most Jews 'cause I'm a moneylender.

(1972 – ) stand-up comedian & writer
Beliefs Religion

Scriptures: The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Beliefs Definitions Religion

Righteous indignation: Your own wrath as opposed to the shocking bad temper of others.

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher
Beliefs Religion

He was of the faith chiefly in the sense that the church he currently did not attend was Catholic.

(1922 – 1995) English novelist & poet
Beliefs Religion

I guess the biggest issue my husband and I are going to have is how do we raise the baby… because he’s Jewish and I’m Protestant and the baby’s father is Catholic.

Canadian-American comedian & writer
Beliefs Children Family Fathers Marriage Religion

The Catholics have an interesting view of sex; it is disgusting, amoral and filthy and you should save it for one you love.

(1957 – ) American actor, comedian & filmmaker
Beliefs Religion Sex

A short summary of every Jewish holiday: “They tried to kill us; we won; let’s eat!”

(1927 – 2004) American comedian & actor
Beliefs Religion