Subject: Beliefs » Religion (Page 3)

Religion – it’s given people hope in a world torn apart by religion.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Beliefs Religion

O Lord, if there is a Lord, save my soul, if I have a soul.

(1823 – 1892) French philosopher & historian
Beliefs Religion

Hell is easy to define; it would be spending eternity with Evangelicals.

American judge & lawyer
Beliefs Opinion People Religion

If you have the Old Testament at home, if you flip the corner pages, you can see Jesus riding a horse.

(1955 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Beliefs Religion

An atheist is a man who has no invisible means of support.

(1895 – 1979) American archbishop of the Catholic Church
Beliefs Definitions Religion

Monastery: Consecration camp.

Definitions Religion

The only thing wrong with being an atheist is that there's nobody to talk to during an orgasm.

Beliefs Religion Sex

I’m a strict Catholic; this year I gave up abstinence for Lent.

English writer & comedian
Beliefs Religion Sex

Atheist: A man who has no invisible means of support.

(1875 – 1940) Scottish novelist, historian & Governor General of Canada
Beliefs Definitions Religion

People that put up Christmas decorations, all they’re saying is ‘Hey, we’re not Jews.’

(1957 – ) American comedian
Beliefs Religion Situations

Just saw an Orthodox Jewish kid do three pull-ups… shattering the previous record.

(1970 –) American stand-up comedian
Beliefs Religion

It is now quite lawful for a Catholic woman to avoid pregnancy by a resort to mathematics, though she is still forbidden to resort to physics or chemistry.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Beliefs People Religion Sex Women

The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are generally the same people.

(1874 – 1936) English author & mystery novelist
Beliefs People Religion

Easter is the day we celebrate Jesus rising from the grave and coming back to Earth as a rabbit that hides colored eggs.

American actor & comedian
Beliefs Religion

I do benefits for all religions – I’d hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Beliefs Life Religion

My wife converted me to religion; I never believed in hell until I married her.

(1892 – 1992) American film & television producer & director
Beliefs Marriage Religion Wives

When one guy sees an invisible man he’s a nut case; ten people see him it’s a cult; ten million people see him it’s a respected religion.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Beliefs Characteristics God Intelligence Religion

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to the garage makes you a car.

(1874 – 1936) English author & mystery novelist
Autos Beliefs Religion Things

Once again, we come to the holiday season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Activities Beliefs Religion Shopping

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Communication Religion Speech

Heaven: The Coney Island of the Christian imagination.

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher
Beliefs Religion