Subject: Beliefs » Religion (Page 5)

What does an atheist say during an orgasm?

(1961 – ) American stand-up comedian
Beliefs Religion Sex

In England there are sixty different religions and only one sauce.

(1563 – 1608) Italian Catholic priest
Beliefs Cooking England Food/Drink Places Religion

Archbishop: An ecclesiastical dignitary one point holier than a bishop.

Definitions Religion

If you really are superior, you don't go around saying you're superior – unless you're Jewish.

Canadian-American comedian & writer
Beliefs Characteristics Religion

When you ever hear girls say that "I'm not religious, but I'm spiritual," I like to reply with "I'm not honest, but you're interesting!

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host
Beliefs Characteristics Honesty Religion

He was of the faith chiefly in the sense that the church he currently did not attend was Catholic.

(1922 – 1995) English novelist & poet
Beliefs Religion

My mom brought us to mass every Sunday – short for ‘massive head trauma’ that you get from your mother punching you in your little nine-year-old head every minute because you can’t sit still for anything that’s boring.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Beliefs Family Mothers Religion

Catholicism is the most adhesive religion in the world; if you joined the Taliban, you’d merely be regarded as a bad Catholic.

(1972 – ) Irish comedian & television presenter
Beliefs Religion

It's interesting to speculate how it developed that in two of the most anti-feminist institutions, the church and the law court, the men are wearing the dresses.

(1916 – 2000) American lawyer & activist
Appearance Clothing Law Religion Women

Unitarian: One who denies the divinity of a Trinitarian.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Beliefs Definitions Religion

When deciding between two competing theories, always go with the one that doesn't involve a magic spell.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Beliefs Religion

Why do born-again people so often make you wish they’d never been born the first time?

(1928 – ) British journalist, writer & columnist
Beliefs Religion

I’m a strict Catholic; this year I gave up abstinence for Lent.

English writer & comedian
Beliefs Religion Sex

It’s hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)
Beliefs People Religion

Just saw an Orthodox Jewish kid do three pull-ups… shattering the previous record.

(1970 –) American stand-up comedian
Beliefs Religion

There hasn’t been a more effeminate Jew in the closet since Anne Frank.

(1965 – 2010) American stand-up comedian & television personality
Beliefs Religion

Religion is basically guilt with different holidays.

American stand-up comedian, television writer & actor
Beliefs Religion

They always throw around this term 'the liberal elite,' and I kept thinking to myself about the Christian right; what's more elite than believing that only you will go to heaven?

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Beliefs Government Politics Religion

Why do they put the Gideon Bibles only in the bedrooms, where it’s usually too late?

(1890 – 1957) author & journalist
Places Religion

Born-Again Virgin

Beliefs Book Titles Religion

Atheist: A man who has no invisible means of support.

(1875 – 1940) Scottish novelist, historian & Governor General of Canada
Beliefs Definitions Religion