Subject: Food/Drink » Cooking

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction: I get to the end and say to myself "well, that's not going to happen.”

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Cooking Food/Drink

The worst thing about accidents in the kitchen is that you usually have to eat them.


Accidents Cooking Food/Drink Problems

Don’t you think the road commissioner would be willing to pay my wife something for her recipe for pie crust?

(1872 – 1933) 30th U.S. president
Cooking Food/Drink

While it may be true that a watched pot never boils, the one you don’t keep and eye on can make an awful mess on your stove.

(1820 – 1897) Mormon missionary
Cooking Food/Drink Time

Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Cooking Eating Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes

She was a good cook, as cooks go; and as cooks go, she went.

(1870 – 1916) British writer
Cooking Food/Drink Occupations Work

The wonderful world of home appliances now makes it possible to cook indoors with charcoal and outdoors with gas.

(1915 – 1977) columnist, writer & actor
Cooking Food/Drink Places Things

Once a dish is fouled up, anything added to save it only makes it worse.

Cooking Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

I don't wanna say we eat out a lot, but when I call my kids for dinner they run to the car!

American comedian
Cooking Food/Drink

You shouldn’t be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.

(1964– ) American comedian, radio personality, actor, podcaster & director
Cooking Eating Food/Drink

Cookin’ With Coolio

Book Titles Cooking Food/Drink

Square meals often make round people.

American entrepreneur & author
Appearance Body Cooking Fat Food/Drink

Why, her cooking is so bad that the flies pitched in to fix the screen door.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Cooking Food/Drink

The difference between a chef and a cook is the difference between a wife and a prostitute; cooks do meals for people they know and love, chefs do it anonymously for anyone who’s got the price.

(1954 – ) British writer & critic
Cooking Food/Drink Occupations Work

Char: Common method of cooking over a campfire.

Cooking Definitions

Romanian-Yiddish cooking has killed more Jews than Hitler.

(1915 – 1977) American actor of stage and screen
Cooking Food/Drink

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Cooking Eating Food/Drink

There is one thing more exasperating than a wife who can cook and won’t, and that’s a wife who can’t cook and will.

(1874 – 1963) American poet
Cooking Food/Drink Marriage Wives

When my mother had to get dinner for eight she'd just make enough for 16 and only serve half.

(1895 – 1964) comedian (wife & partner of George Burns)
Cooking Eating Food/Drink

In England there are sixty different religions and only one sauce.

(1563 – 1608) Italian Catholic priest
Beliefs Cooking England Food/Drink Places Religion

She did not so much cook food as assassinate food

English writer
Cooking Food/Drink Insults