Subject: Work

In modern business it is not the crook who is to be feared most, it is the honest man who doesn't know what he is doing.

(1874 – 1962) American industrialist, lawyer & diplomat
Honesty Work

I've seldom seen a horny player walk into a bar and not let out exactly what he did for a living.

(1947 – ) professional baseball player
Baseball Occupations Sex Sports Work

I had a paper route when I was a kid and I was supposed to go to 2,000 houses… or two dumpsters.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Communication Work

Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous; when I was sixty-five, I still had pimples.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Age Work

My girlfriend likes to play doctor; so I always make her wait 90 minutes before I see her.

(1952 – ) American comedian & actor
Occupations Sex

I started my career in kindergarten playing a tube of toothpaste in a hygiene play.

(1945 – ) American actor, director, comedian, producer & author
Acting Entertainment Occupations Work

If you do a job twice, it’s yours.

Murphy’s Laws Work

What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Situations Work

A professional is a man who can do his job when he doesn’t feel like it; an amateur is a man who can’t do his job when he does feel like it.

(1877 – 1947) British diarist & critic
Work

Be content to remember that those who can make omelets properly can do nothing else.

(1870 – 1953) Anglo-French writer & historian
Work

Quit spitting on the handle and get to hoeing.

Expressions Work

Good Old Days: A block of time which ended a week before you were hired.

Definitions Past Time Work

Executive: A man who talks to visitors so the other employees can get their work done.

Definitions Occupations Work

It is easier to square the circle than to get round a mathematician.

(1806 – 1871) English mathematician
Occupations Science/Weather Work

Work is the curse of the drinking classes.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Alcohol Food/Drink Work

Acting: A good training for political life; the only problem is the speeches are harder to learn.

(1911 – 2004) 40th U.S. president & actor
Acting Entertainment Occupations

Manager: Someone who doesn’t know how to do your job, who tells you how to do your job.

Definitions People Work

The one who does the least work will get the most credit.

Murphy’s Laws Work

I think housework is far more tiring and frightening than hunting is… and yet after hunting we had eggs for tea and were made to rest for hours, but after housework people expect one to go on just as if nothing special had happened.

(1904 – 1973) English novelist & biographer
Housework Work

Too many people are ready to carry the stool when the piano needs to be moved.

Work

One thing about being a cabbie is that you don’t have to worry about being fired from a good job.

(1935 – ) American actor
Occupations TV/Movie Quotes Work