Subject: Work (Page 4)

Too bad the only people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
America Government Intelligence Occupations Places Work

What do hookers do on their nights off – type?

(1952 – ) comedian
People Work

Ambassador: An honest man sent abroad to lie for the good of his country.

(1568 – 1639) English author, diplomat & politician
Government Occupations

In the morning be first up, and in the evening last to go to bed, for they that sleep catch no fish.

Proverbs Work

Employees make the best dates; you don’t have to pick them up and they’re always tax-deductible.

(1928 – 1987) painter, printmaker & filmmaker
Dating Relationships Taxes Work

It is a statistical fact that the wicked work harder to reach hell than the righteous do to enter heaven.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
People Work

There’s no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Government Work

It seems that nothing ever gets to going good till there's a few resignations.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Work

Madam: Someone for whom the belles toil.

Definitions Occupations

Undertaker: The last guy to let you down.

Definitions Occupations Work

A plastic surgeon's office the only place where no one gets offended when you pick your nose!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Doctors Health Occupations

I don’t want to live on in my work, I want to live on in my apartment.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Life Work

Cosmologists are often in error, but never in doubt.

(1908 – 1968) Soviet physicist
Occupations Science/Weather Work

Acting is pretending, and the most difficult part is pretending you’re eating regularly.

Acting Eating Entertainment Food/Drink Occupations

My husband always felt that a marriage and career don't mix’ that's why he's never worked.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Husbands Marriage Work

Food, love, career, and mothers, the four major guilt groups.

(1950 – ) American cartoonist Cathy
Emotions Food/Drink Love Mothers Work

Economist: A man who knows more about money than the people who have it.

Definitions Occupations People

I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Life Work

It was a tough gig; they had to wake me up to fire me.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Situations Work

How do you know if you've got a good mechanic? … by the size of his boat.

(1937 – 2014) American co-host of radio show “Car Talk”
Occupations Work

There's a pizza place near where I live that sells only slices… in the back you can see a guy tossing a triangle in the air.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Places Work