Subject: Work (Page 26)

Never trust a ventriloquist or a barber.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Occupations TV/Movie Quotes

Strip Teaser: One who makes a bare living.

Body Definitions Occupations

Why does every flight attendant seem like they are going through a divorce?

(1974 – ) American comedian
Occupations Work

Teaching has ruined more American novelists than drink.

(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter
Education Occupations

She was a good cook, as cooks go; and as cooks go, she went.

(1870 – 1916) British writer
Cooking Food/Drink Occupations Work

If something's hard to do, then it's not worth doing!

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes Work

If a company’s most valuable resource is its people, how come the employees aren’t locked up, but the toilet paper is in a reinforced steel box with a lock, bolted to the stall?

Situations Work

Retire? … I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the only one left.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Age Entertainment Old Work

Job: A place where you work just hard enough to avoid getting fired while getting paid just enough to avoid quitting.

Definitions Work

Masochism is a valuable job skill.

(1962 – ) writer & journalist
Characteristics Work

Employees in a hierarchy do not really object to incompetence in their colleagues.

Murphy’s Laws Work

When properly administered, vacations do not diminish productivity: for every week you’re away and get nothing done, there’s another when your boss is away and you get twice as much done.

(1869 – 1946) American bridge builder & engineer
Activities Work

When I told my mom I wanted to grow up and be a comedian, she said you can’t do both.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Entertainment Occupations Work

Incompetence tends to increase with the level of work performed. And naturally the individual’s staff needs will increase as his level of incompetence increases.

Murphy’s Laws Work