Keyword: Exams

When reviewing your notes before an exam, the most important will be illegible.

Education Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing School

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

Education Religion School

If you are given an open-book exam, you will forget your book.

Education Murphy’s Laws School

If you are given a take-home exam, you will forget where you live.

Education Murphy’s Laws Places School

The hardest thing to do at a community college is cheat on a test because the only people you can cheat off of also go to a community college.

American stand-up comedian
Education School

After I failed my second test, I grabbed my teacher by the front of the shirt and said “Are you ‘trying’ to keep this shit a secret?”

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Education School

The book or periodical most vital to the completion of your term paper will be missing from the library.

Corollary: If it is available, the most important page will be torn out.

Books Communication Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing School

Pocket calculator batteries that have lasted all semester will fail during the math final.

Education Murphy’s Laws School

If you're confident after you've just finished an exam, it's because you don't know enough to know better.

Education Intelligence Murphy’s Laws School

The taxpayer… that's someone who works for the federal government but doesn't have to take the Civil Service examination.

(1911 – 2004) 40th U.S. president & actor
Government Work

I made a 1,600 minus 800 minus 200 on the SAT, so I'm very intelligent when I speak.

American basketball player
Education Intelligence Misspokements School

You never catch on until after the test.

Education Murphy’s Laws School Understanding

I was thrown out of NYU my freshman year for cheating on my metaphysics final; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Beliefs Education School

During exams you are permitted to look down for inspiration and up in exasperation, but you are not permitted to look side to side for information.

Education

80% of the final exam will be based on the one lecture you missed and the one book you didn't read.

Education Murphy’s Laws School

The more studying you did for the exam, the less sure you are as to which answer they want.

Education Murphy’s Laws School

In your toughest final – for the first time all year – the most distractingly attractive student in the class will sit next to you.

Education Murphy’s Laws School

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me – they're cramming for their final exam.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Age Old

The philosophy exam was a piece of cake… which was a bit of a surprise, actually, because I was expecting some questions on a sheet of paper.

Education School