Keyword: Committees

A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.

(1908 – 2002) comedian, radio & television actor
People Time

Committee reports dealing with wages, salaries, fringe benefits, facilities, computers, employee parking, libraries, coffee breaks, secretarial support, etc., always call for dramatic expenditure increases.

Money Murphy’s Laws

An original idea can never emerge from committee in the original.

Ideas Intelligence Murphy’s Laws

Those most opposed to serving on committees are made chairmen.

Murphy’s Laws

A committee of three gets things done if two don’t show up.

Murphy’s Laws People

1. Never arrive on time, or you will be stamped a beginner.
2. Don't say anything until the meeting is half over; this stamps you as being wise.
3. Be as vague as possible; this prevents irritating the others.
4. When in doubt, suggest that a subcommittee be appointed.
5. Be the first to move for adjournment; this will make you popular – it's what everyone is waiting for.

Murphy’s Laws

A committee is the only life form with 12 stomachs and no brain.

Murphy’s Laws People

Statistics have proven that the surest way to get anything out of the public mind and never hear of it again is to have a Senate Committee appointed to look into it.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Congress Government

A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
People

A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Individuals Work

Any committee that is the slightest use is composed of people who are too busy to want to sit on it for a second longer than they have to.

(1928 – ) British journalist, writer & columnist
People Time

A committee is a cul-de-sac down which ideas are lured and then quietly strangled.

British clerk of the House of Commons
Ideas Intelligence

A decision is what a man makes when he can’t get anyone to serve on a committee.

(1911 – 1993) columnist & novelist
Intelligence

If you leave the room, you're elected.

Murphy’s Laws

Of all possible committee reactions to any given agenda item, the reaction that will occur is the one which will liberate the greatest amount of hot air.

Communication Murphy’s Laws Speech

A committee can make a decision that is dumber than any of its members.


Intelligence People

I've searched all the parks in all the cities and found no statues of committees.

(1874 – 1936) English author & mystery novelist
Places Success Things

A camel is a horse designed by a committee.

(1906 – 1988) Greek-British designer of cars
Animals

Committee: A group of the unwilling, picked from the unfit, to do the unnecessary.

(1911 – 1969) American school superintendent, philosopher & humorist
People

The real objective of a committee is not to reach a decision, but to avoid it.

Murphy’s Laws

There are four things that hold back human progress – ignorance, stupidity, committees and accountants.

(1797 – 1875) American accountant
Intelligence Situations Stupidity