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Classifieds:

Usually unintentionally humorous classified ads, personal ads, notices or announcements as they appeared in various printed “Classified Ads” sections.

TAG Heuer mens watch with bright yellow dial, it's not gay its European $99. 714-997-….

SUPERINTENDED NEEDED

HELP WANTED – Eyebrow Threading

WANTED: 12 volt electric wench, must be reasonable… 24 Hour Service – Animal Control – Joe Sweeney – Removal Of Nuisance Wild Animals • Chimney Caps • Rats & Bats (203) 421-….

FOR SALE: One pair hardly used dentures, only 2 teeth missing. $100 OBO. Call Ira…

BOX OF Twinkies, 10 years old, two missing, rest have cream filling sucked out, $5. Call 217-….

Bar S sliced balogna – regular or tasty

For Sale: Basketball Hoop and backboard. Only used for dunking kid brother.

BEAUTIFUL ENGAGEMENT ring. Yellow gold, wide band with 18 diamonds set in 3 rows of 3 diamonds on each side of one large round-cut center stone. worn, sparingly, for only 9 Days. “It Didn’t Mean Anything. It was just suppose to Shut Her Up.” It didn’t shut her up. Happy to be Rid of it too. For the first offer of $800.00. Phone… between 9 a.m. – 9 p.m.

FOR SALE – Eight puppies from a German Shepperd and an Alaskan Hussy.

My husband, who hardly ever listens to the radio anymore, has this one on all the time.

Classifieds Entertainment From an ad for the Bose Wave radio

Is your memory letting you down? And what about your memory? Is it letting you down? Call for information pack right now. Before you forget. 079…

Now I know what to do the next time my patents die… – If you are inheriting someone’s IRA/401K/TSP or Annuity…

Silk? Tweed? Hopsack? Worsted? No matter what your topcoat is made of, this miracle spray will make it really repellent.

Classifieds In a Ohio newspaper

Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.

FOUND: Large, Obese Goldfish, 11 years old, blind as a bat

Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included.

Wanted: dead gentle pony! 941-637-….

Looking for someone to do yard work. Must have hoolahoop.

RENTALS – HOUSING TWO BEDROOM, Sublease, nice area, BARGAIN Rent. Drawback: Big hairy spiders drop off bedroom ceiling at night.

Georgia peaches, California grown – 89 cents lb.