Author: Anonymous Murphy’s Law

The hardness of the butter is in direct proportion to the softness of the bread.

Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

Whatever you want, you can’t have, what you can have, you don’t want.

Murphy’s Laws

If you are attempting the impossible, you will fail

Failure Murphy’s Laws Problems

If something is confidential, it will be left in the copier machine.

Murphy’s Laws

Love letters, business contracts and money due you always arrive three weeks late, whereas junk mail arrives the day it was sent.

Murphy’s Laws Time

Your best golf shots always occur when playing alone.

Golf Murphy’s Laws People Sports

The more an item costs, the farther you have to send it for repairs.

Money Murphy’s Laws

A dropped power tool will always land on the concrete instead of the soft ground (if outdoors) or the carpet (if indoors) – unless it is running, in which case it will fall on something it can damage (like your foot).

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Things

When you wear new shoes for the first time, everyone will step on them.

Appearance Clothing Murphy’s Laws

A valuable dropped item will always fall into an inaccessible place (a diamond ring down the drain, for example) – or into the garbage disposal while it is running.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems

The ideal resume will turn up one day after the position is filled.

Murphy’s Laws Work

Chaos always wins, because it’s better organized.

Murphy’s Laws

It will always break just when you need it the most.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

If a dish is dropped while removing it from the cupboard, it will hit the sink, breaking the dish and chipping or denting the sink in the process.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws

The mud that won’t come off on the doormat immediately adheres to the carpet.

Murphy’s Laws

No matter how hard you try, every once in a while, something is going right.

Murphy’s Laws

When you drop coins, the pennies will fall nearby, while all the others will roll out of sight.

Murphy’s Laws

If you pick up a chunk of broken concrete and try to pitch it into an adjacent lot, it will hit a tree limb and come down right on the driver’s side of your car windshield.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

A paint drip will always find the hole in the newspaper and land on the carpet underneath (and will not be discovered until it has dried).

Accidents Murphy’s Laws

If you use a pole saw to saw a limb while standing on an aluminum ladder borrowed from your neighbor, the limb will fall in such a way as to bend the ladder before it knocks you to the ground.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

If your action has a 50% possibility of being correct, you will be wrong 75% of the time.

Murphy’s Laws Problems