Subject: Problems (Page 5)

No one is listening until you make a mistake.

Communication Mistakes Problems

When the product is destined to fail, the delivery system will perform perfectly.

Failure Murphy’s Laws Problems

The faster a computer is, the faster it will reach a crashed state.

Computers Failure Murphy’s Laws Things

If not controlled, work will flow to the competent man until he submerges.

Murphy’s Laws People Problems Work

Avoid any action with an unacceptable outcome.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

Sex: The thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.

(1882 – 1942) American actor
Problems Sex Time

If you can't fix it with duct tape you haven’t used enough.

Problems Situations

The shortest distance between two points is a downward spiral.

Failure Murphy’s Laws Problems

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Accidents Failure Situations

1. If it is green or it wiggles – it is Biology.
2. If it stinks – it is Chemistry.
3. If it doesn’t work – it is Physics.

Murphy’s Laws Problems Science/Weather

I ain’t got no respect for no religion where the head guy claims he can’t make no mistakes. Like he’s, waddya call, inflammable.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Characteristics Malaprops Mistakes

When you move something to a more logical place, you only can remember where it used to be and your decision to move it.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

If you think there's a solution, you're part of the problem.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Problems

Success can be insured only by devising a defense against failure of the contingency plan.

Failure Murphy’s Laws Problems Success

Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again.


Memory Murphy’s Laws People Problems Situations

However much a shower control may rotate, the degree of rotation required to change from ice-cold to scalding is never more than one millimeter.

(1957 – ) New Zealand writer
Murphy’s Laws Problems

When you're up to your nose, keep your mouth shut.

Murphy’s Laws Problems Situations

The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Marriage Problems Sex World

The time it takes to rectify a situation is inversely proportional to the time it took to do the damage.

Murphy’s Laws Problems Situations

The American people would not want to know of any misquotes that Dan Quayle may or may not make.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Misspokements Mistakes People Self Speech

No one is listening until you make a mistake.

Communication Mistakes Problems