Subject: Problems (Page 6)

A malfunctioning car will stop displaying symptoms of imminent breakdown when driven to within one-quarter mile of a garage.

Autos Murphy’s Laws Problems Things

I like an escalator because an escalator can never break, it can only become stairs.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Failure Problems Things

The most undesirable things are the most certain (death and taxes).

Death Murphy’s Laws Problems Taxes

Like trying to poke a cat out from under a porch with a wet rope.

(1908 – 2003) American actor & dancer
Problems TV/Movie Quotes

Asking dumb questions is easier than correcting dumb mistakes.

Mistakes Murphy’s Laws

If you drop something, it will never reach the ground.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems

We know what happens to people who stay in the middle of the road; they get run over.

(1897 – 1960) Welsh labor leader & politician
Accidents Beliefs Opinion Problems

The chances of solving a problem decline the closer one gets to finding out who was the cause of the problem.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

Some people approach every problem with an open mouth.

(1900 – 1965) diplomat & Democratic politician
Characteristics Communication Problems Speech

The last person who quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong – until the next person quits or is fired.

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws Problems

A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you’re in deep water.

Communication Problems Speech

I broke a leg one time… spilled coffee all over.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Accidents Problems

There is no job so simple that it cannot be done wrong.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

Flying pests are more likely to enter the ears, eyes, nose and throat when both hands are in use.

Animals Murphy’s Laws Problems

A dropped power tool will always land on the concrete instead of the soft ground (if outdoors) or the carpet (if indoors) – unless it is running, in which case it will fall on something it can damage (like your foot).

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Things

A falling nozzle will turn toward you and land on its trigger.

Problems Things

The cloning of humans is on most of the lists of things to worry about from science, along with behavior control, genetic engineering, transplanted heads, computer poetry and the unrestrained growth of plastic flowers.


Problems Science/Weather

The squeaky wheel gets replaced.

Murphy’s Laws Problems Situations

A computer makes as many mistakes in two seconds as 20 men working 20 years.

Computers Mistakes Murphy’s Laws Things Time

The shortest measurable interval of time is the time between the moment one puts a little extra aside for a sudden emergency and the arrival of that emergency.

Money Murphy’s Laws Problems Time

Never moon a werewolf.

(1958 – ) screenwriter, film director & actor
Problems Situations