Subject: Problems (Page 8)

There are no personal problems which cannot be solved through suitable application of high explosives.

Problems

Our meetings are held to discuss many problems which would never arise if we held fewer meetings.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Places Problems

Success is a public affair; failure is a private funeral.

(1907 – 1976) American actress
Failure Success

This is a crisis, a large crisis. In fact… it’s a twelve-story crisis with a magnificent entrance hall, carpeted throughout; twenty-four hour porterage and an enormous sign on the roof saying ‘This is a Large Crisis.’

(1955 – ) English actor
Problems TV/Movie Quotes

Murphy’s Law only fails when you try to demonstrate it.


Failure Murphy’s Laws

I don't believe in astrology; the only stars I can blame for my failures are those that walk about the stage.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Failure

I'll say this for adversity: people seem to be able to stand it, and that's more than I can say for prosperity.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Money Problems

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.

Activities Autos Beliefs Problems Proverbs Travel

I ain’t got no respect for no religion where the head guy claims he can’t make no mistakes. Like he’s, waddya call, inflammable.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Characteristics Malaprops Mistakes

Batteries die at the most critical time of the most complex problem.

Failure Murphy’s Laws Problems Things

The good Lord never gives you more than you can handle… unless you die of something.

(1935 – ) American cartoonist
Beliefs Death God Life Problems

The Course of Progress: Most things get steadily worse.
The Path of Progress: A shortcut is the longest distance between two points.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

Those who are most moral are farthest from the problem.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

An expert is a person who avoids the small errors while sweeping on to the grand fallacy.

Failure Mistakes Murphy’s Laws Problems

No one is listening until you make a mistake.

Beliefs Mistakes Murphy’s Laws Proverbs

Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.

(1918 – 1990) American aerospace engineer
Failure Murphy’s Laws Problems

That’s one of the remarkable things about life… it’s never so bad that it can’t get worse.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)
Life Problems

Man is the only kind of varmint who sets his own trap, baits it, then steps on it.

(1902 – 1968) novelist
Accidents Animals People Problems

Avoid any action with an unacceptable outcome.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

If a thing is done wrong often enough, it becomes right.

Mistakes Murphy’s Laws

The only way to amuse some people is to slip and fall on an icy pavement.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Accidents Entertainment Problems