Subject: Appearance (Page 2)

A bag of tattooed bones in a sequined slingshot.

Richard Blackwell (1922 – 2008) fashion critic, journalist, & designer
Appearance Body Clothing Insults

I was dating this girl once for a few weeks, and the first time she saw my penis, she said, 'Is everything a joke with you?'

(1965 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor, director & author
Appearance Body Dating Relationships

I love the idea of there being two sexes, don't you?

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist
Appearance Body Science/Weather

Ever notice how people who believe in creationism look really unevolved?

(1961 – 1994) comedian
Appearance Beliefs Religion

Beauty: The power with which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.

Appearance Definitions

Rando: Nice wig, Janice. What’s it made of?
Janis: Your mom’s chest hair!

(1982 – ) American actress & model
Appearance Hair TV/Movie Quotes

He was a man of great statue.

Appearance Body Malaprops

I have seen my kid struggle into the kitchen in the morning with outfits that need only one accessory… an empty gin bottle.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Appearance Children Clothing Family

I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Age Appearance Body

Only your real friends will tell you when your face is dirty.

Appearance Proverbs

That's like the Queen Mary losing a deck chair.

(1928 – 2001) American basketball coach
Appearance Body Fat

Boy George is all England needs – another queen who can't dress.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Clothing England Insults Places

Why doesn’t the fattest man in the world become a hockey goalie?


Appearance Body Fat Sports

If you want to know what you’ll look like in ten years, look in the mirror after you’ve run a marathon.

American cardiologist & marathoner
Activities Age Appearance Old

Shopping tip: You can get shoes for 85 cents at bowling alleys.

American comedian
Appearance Clothing Shopping

I've only got one wrinkle and I'm sitting on it.

(1875 – 1997) French, 120 year old woman
Age Appearance Body Old

The other day, I got a henna tattoo that says “Forever.”

(1969 – ) comedian & actor
Appearance Body

I was not a particularly small child; I was the one who always got picked to play Bethlehem in the school nativity.

(1957 – ) British stand-up comedian
Appearance Body

If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she's damn near forty.

(1965 – ) comedian, actor, screenwriter, television producer & director
Age Appearance People Women

She's the sort of woman who lives for others… you can tell the others by their hunted expression.

(1898 – 1963) Irish-born British novelist, literary critic & essayist
Appearance Insults

She’s so ugly… when she entered an ugly contest the judges said, "No professionals."

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly