Reviews/Criticism | Just-One-Liners.com

Subject: Reviews/Criticism (Page 5)

I came away impressed with the mutant power of director Brett Ratner. We should strategically deploy him to destroy runaway movie franchises that threaten mankind with their continued existence.

Michael Agger

American film critic

Reviews/Criticism “X-Men 3: Last Stand”

Apparently the understudy had to go because of her throat; I suppose someone threatened to cut it.

Mrs. Patrick Campbell

(1865-1940) English actress

Acting Entertainment Insults Reviews/Criticism

Not nearly as awful as everyone seems to think it is.

Matt Bailey

film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Plan 9 from Outer Space”

… the most terrifying thing about The X-Files, in fact, are its “fans.” These guys make movie critics look healthy.

Tom Shone

British film critic & writer

Reviews/Criticism “The X-Files”

Perhaps the only use this film has is to give philosophers who sit through it some way of experiencing what eternity truly means.

Devin Faraci

film critic

Reviews/Criticism “The Informers”

This film appears to be something of an homage to "Some Like it Hot", which is kind of like saying that a bum taking a crap in a dumpster is an homage to “Star Wars.”

Mr. Cranky

(movie reviews at mrcranky.com)

Reviews/Criticism “Connie and Carla”

We are living here on a planet in shambles, terrorists running murderously amok, the Mideast on the verge of exploding, humanity plagued by hateful prejudices that go back centuries, poverty and depravity rampant, and when God decides to intervene, it’s to straighten out a few troubled folks in a small town and solve a murder case?

Tom Shone

British film critic & writer

Reviews/Criticism “Joan of Arcadia"

I found nothing really wrong with this autobiography except poor choice of subject.

Clifton Fadiman

(1904 – 1999) author, editor, radio host

Books Reviews/Criticism On Gertrude Stein's autobiography

It is easier to pull down than to build up.

Latin proverb

Proverbs Reviews/Criticism

Dumb as rocks, thin as paper and dull as scissors…

Matt Pais

American movie critic

Reviews/Criticism “Bullet to the Head”

This book fills a much-needed gap.

Moses Hadas

(1900 – 1986) American teacher & translator

Books Reviews/Criticism

You have but two topics, yourself and me and I'm sick of both.

Samuel Johnson

(1709 – 1784) English author, essayist, critic, editor & lexicographer

Reviews/Criticism Of biographer James Boswell

It probably helps if you're high too when checking out Bad Teacher, as that might help you get through the film’s excruciating lack of plot, combined with a cast of characters that might as well have been lifted directly from every single f**king movie about a school ever made… ever.

Mr. Cranky

(movie reviews at mrcranky.com)

Reviews/Criticism “Bad Teacher”

I wish you could have heard that pretty crash Beauty and the Beast made when, with one sweeping, liquid gesture, I tossed it out of my twelfth-story window.

Dorothy Parker

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

Reviews/Criticism Of Kathleen Norris’s novel “Beauty and the Beast”

Chain Reaction has more nifty coincidences than an identical twins convention.

Mr. Cranky

(movie reviews at mrcranky.com)

Reviews/Criticism “Chain Reaction”

I rented The Cool Surface last week; words can't describe how awful it is. I'm a big Teri Hatcher fan, but a rental… is $2.75 thrown down the drain. Save your money by reading the attached plot synopsis:  [WARNING: spoiler follows] Teri Hatcher has breasts. They look OK.

Anonymous

Reviews/Criticism “The Cool Surface” Teri Hatcher

Beethoven always sounds to me like the upsetting of a bag of nails, with here and there also a dropped hammer.

John Ruskin

(1819 – 1900) English art critic, social thinker, poet & artist

Entertainment Music Reviews/Criticism Beethoven

One can’t judge Wagner’s opera Lohengrin after a first hearing, and I certainly don’t intend hearing it a second time.

Gioachino Rossini

(1792 – 1868) Italian composer

Entertainment Reviews/Criticism Lohengrin Opera

[Kevin] Spacey would have looked more believable playing Joan Rivers. I was convinced this was a science fiction film for a while because Spacey was wearing so much makeup I thought he was an android.

Mr. Cranky

(movie reviews at mrcranky.com)

Reviews/Criticism “Beyond the Sea”

If there is a God, and with things the way they are in the world, one can't help being a tad skeptical, he should rain lightning bolts down on the offices of Dark Castle Entertainment.

Tor Thorsen

film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Ghost Ship”

It was W. C. Fields who hated to appear in the same scene with a child, a dog, or a plunging neckline – because nobody in the audience would be looking at him. Jennifer Aniston has the same problem in this movie even when she’s in scenes all by herself.

Roger Ebert

(1942 – 2013) American film critic, journalist & screenwriter

Reviews/Criticism “Picture Perfect”

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Subject: Reviews/Criticism (Page 5)

I came away impressed with the mutant power of director Brett Ratner. We should strategically deploy him to destroy runaway movie franchises that threaten mankind with their continued existence.

Apparently the understudy had to go because of her throat; I suppose someone threatened to cut it.

Not nearly as awful as everyone seems to think it is.

… the most terrifying thing about The X-Files, in fact, are its “fans.” These guys make movie critics look healthy.

Perhaps the only use this film has is to give philosophers who sit through it some way of experiencing what eternity truly means.

This film appears to be something of an homage to "Some Like it Hot", which is kind of like saying that a bum taking a crap in a dumpster is an homage to “Star Wars.”

I found nothing really wrong with this autobiography except poor choice of subject.

It is easier to pull down than to build up.

Dumb as rocks, thin as paper and dull as scissors…

This book fills a much-needed gap.

You have but two topics, yourself and me and I'm sick of both.

It probably helps if you're high too when checking out Bad Teacher, as that might help you get through the film’s excruciating lack of plot, combined with a cast of characters that might as well have been lifted directly from every single f**king movie about a school ever made… ever.

I wish you could have heard that pretty crash Beauty and the Beast made when, with one sweeping, liquid gesture, I tossed it out of my twelfth-story window.

Chain Reaction has more nifty coincidences than an identical twins convention.

I rented The Cool Surface last week; words can't describe how awful it is. I'm a big Teri Hatcher fan, but a rental… is $2.75 thrown down the drain. Save your money by reading the attached plot synopsis:  [WARNING: spoiler follows] Teri Hatcher has breasts. They look OK.

Beethoven always sounds to me like the upsetting of a bag of nails, with here and there also a dropped hammer.

One can’t judge Wagner’s opera Lohengrin after a first hearing, and I certainly don’t intend hearing it a second time.

[Kevin] Spacey would have looked more believable playing Joan Rivers. I was convinced this was a science fiction film for a while because Spacey was wearing so much makeup I thought he was an android.

If there is a God, and with things the way they are in the world, one can't help being a tad skeptical, he should rain lightning bolts down on the offices of Dark Castle Entertainment.

It was W. C. Fields who hated to appear in the same scene with a child, a dog, or a plunging neckline – because nobody in the audience would be looking at him. Jennifer Aniston has the same problem in this movie even when she’s in scenes all by herself.