Subject: Death » Last words

Last words:

Humorous, ironic, satirical or just plain odd last words

I am dying. Please… bring me a toothpick.

(1873 – 1907) French writer

Turn me.  I am roasted on one side.

(c.225 – 258) a deacon & celebrated Roman martyr

And now, I am officially dead.

(1822 – 1903) American teacher, lawyer, iron manufacturer & politician

It's beating – beating – beating – it's stopped.

(1708 – 1777) was a Swiss anatomist, physiologist, naturalist & poet

I wish I was skiing.
Nurse: Oh, Mr. Laurel, do you ski?
No, but I'd rather be skiing than doing what I'm doing.

(1890 – 1965) English comic actor, writer & director (of Laurel & Hardy)

Do not hack me as you did my Lord Russell.

(1649 – 1685) English nobleman

Only from the cold, my friend.

(1736 – 1793) French astronomer, orator & leader of the French Revolution

Applaud, my friends, the comedy is finished.

(1770 – 1827) German composer & pianist

I see that you have made three spelling mistakes.

(1744 – 1790) French aristocrat

God will forgive me. It is his profession.

(1797 – 1856) German critic & poet

Oh, what's the bloody point?

(1926 – 1988) English comic actor & comedian

Tomorrow, I shall no longer be here.

(1503 – 1566) French apothecary & reputed seer who published his prophecies

How were the receipts today at Madison Square Garden?

(1810 – 1891) American showman, businessman, entertainer & circus founder

Wait a second.

(1721 – 1764) member of the French court & mistress of Louis XV

One last drink, please.

(1846 – 1911) American distiller

No! I didn't come here to make a speech. I came here to die.

Cherokee Bill (1876 – 1896) American convicted murderer & outlaw

John Rogers did.

(1812 – 1899) American attorney

Leave the shower curtain on the inside of the tub.

(1887 – 1979) American businessman & founder of the Hilton Hotels

Absolutely not!

(1920 – 1966) American film & stage actor

Kaputt…

(1892 – 1918) German fighter pilot widely known as the Red Baron

Don't make a mess of it – shoot straight, you bastards.

(1864 – 1902) Anglo-Australian drover, horseman, poet & soldier













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