Subject: Epitaphs (Page 23)

Here lies the body of Robert Lowe. Whither he’s gone I do not know. If to the realms of peace and love, farewell to happiness above. If to a place of lower level, I don’t congratulate the d—l.

Epitaphs

In the pride of his manhood he heard the last call, – Though first in the field where his feet pressed the sod. – He hath gained his last wicket and thrown his last ball, – To join in the choir 'round the throne of his God.

Epitaphs

John Rose, Died Jan. 27. 1810, aged 10 years. Dr Friends and companions all, pray warning take by me, don't venture on the ice too far, as `twas the death of me.

Epitaphs

Cast a cold eye on life, on death. Horseman, pass by!

Epitaphs

Here lies Gilles. He used no net, Knew no fear. He made a misstep And wound up here

Epitaphs

Beneath this stone now dead to grief Lies Grid the famous Wokag chief. Pause here and think you learned prig, This man was once an Indian big. Consider this, ye lowly one, this man was once a big in-jun. Now he lies here, you too must rot, as sure as pig shall go to pot.

Epitaphs

Here lies my wife in earthy mould, who when she lived did naught but scold. Peace! wake her not, for now she’s still; she had, but now I have my will.

Epitaphs

Here, reader, turn your weeping eyes, My fate a useful moral teaches; The hole in which my body lies Would not contain one half my speeches

Epitaphs

This is the grave of Mike O’Day, who died maintaining his right of way. His right was clear, his will was strong, but he’s just as dead as if he’d been wrong.

Epitaphs

Poor Betty Conway, she drank lemonade at a masquerade, So now she's dead and gone away.

Epitaphs

Stranger pause my tale attend, and learn the cause of Hannah’s end. Across the world the wind did blow, she ketched a cold that laid her low. We shed a lot of tears ‘tis true, but life is short – aged 82.

Epitaphs

Here lies John Ross, kick'd by a boss.

Epitaphs

An excellent husband was this Mr. Danner, – He lived in a thoroughly honorable manner. – He may have had troubles. – But they burst like bubbles. – He's at peace, now with Mary, Jane Susan and Hannah.

Epitaphs

Here lies Ned. There is nothing more to be said, because we like to speak well of the dead. I came into this world without my consent, and left in the same manner.

Epitaphs

Mary, Mary, quite contrary How does your garden grow? Quite well, I bet, Since it's well fed By her body decomposing below.

Epitaphs

John Edwards who perished in a fire. None could hold a candle to him.

Epitaphs

“I See Dumb People”

Epitaphs

Little Johnny had a purple monkey, climbing up a yellow stick, little Johnny licked the purple paint of and it made him deathly sick. They stirred him up with calomel, they tried to move his liver, but all in vain, his little soul was wafted o'er the River.

Epitaphs

Here lies the body of Johnny Haskell, A lying, thieving, cheating rascal; He always lied, and now he lies, He has no soul and cannot rise.

Epitaphs

This is the last long resting place, Of Aunt Jemima Jones, Her soul ascended into space, Amidst our tears and groans, She was not pleasing to the eye, Nor had she any brain, And when she talked twas through her nose, Which gave her friends much pain, But still we feel that she was worth, The money that was spent, upon the coffin, hearse and stone (The funeral plumes were lent).

Epitaphs

Here lies Salvino Armalo D'Armati of Florence, the inventor of spectacles. May God pardon his sins!

Epitaphs