Subject: Epitaphs (Page 24)

#$%& @!&% #?!$% @?*&!@^#!* @*$! &!%?

Epitaphs

Here lies poor Ned Pardon, from misery freed, Who long was a bookseller's hack; He led such a damnable life in this world, I don't think he'll ever come back.

Epitaphs

Here lies Elizabeth, my wife for 47 years, and this is the first damn thing she ever done to oblige me.

Epitaphs

He called Bill Smith a liar

Epitaphs

Here lies the body of Martha Dias, Who was always uneasy and not over pious, She liv'd to the age of threescore and ten, And gave that to the worms she refus'd to the men.

Epitaphs

Those who cared for him while living, will know whose body is buried here, to others it does not matter.

Epitaphs

This spot is the sweetest I've seen in my life, For it raises many flowers and covers my wife.

Epitaphs

He had sand in his craw, But was slow on the draw, So we planted him ‘neath the daisies.

Epitaphs

Our life is but a summer's day: Some only breakfast, and away; Others to dinner stay, and are full fed; The oldest man but sups, and goes to bed. Large his account who lingers out the day; Who goes the soonest, has the least to pay.

Epitaphs

I plant these shrubs upon your grave dear wife. That something on this spot may boast of life. Shrubs must wither and all earth must rot. Shrubs may revive, but you thank heaven will not.

Epitaphs

An epitaph is a belated advertisement for a line of goods that has been discontinued.

(1876 – 1944) American author, humorist & columnist
Death Epitaphs

She was never meant to be understood, just loved.

Epitaphs

These hillocks green and mouldering bones, these gloomy tombs and lettered stones. One admonition here supply: Reader! art thou prepared to die?

Epitaphs

Here beneath this stone we lie, back to back my wife and I, And when the angels trump shall trill, If she gets up then I'll lie still!

Epitaphs

Beneath this stone now dead to grief Lies Grid the famous Wokag chief. Pause here and think you learned prig, This man was once an Indian big. Consider this, ye lowly one, this man was once a big in-jun. Now he lies here, you too must rot, as sure as pig shall go to pot.

Epitaphs

Hooray my brave boys let's rejoice at his fall. For if he had lived he would have buried us all.

Epitaphs

Uncle Walter Loved To Spend. He Had No Money in the End. But with Many a Whiskey and Many a Wife, He Really Did Enjoy His Life.

Epitaphs

Leslie Nielsen (1926 – 2010) “Let ‘er rip”

Epitaphs

Here lies the body of poor Aunt Charlotte. Born a virgin, died a harlot. For 16 years she kept her virginity, a damn'd long time for this vicinity.

Epitaphs

Although this stone may moulder into dust, yet Joseph Moodey's name continue must

Epitaphs

Tom Smith is dead, and here he lies, nobody laughs and nobody cries; where his soul's gone, or how it fares, nobody knows, and nobody cares.

Epitaphs