Subject: Epitaphs (Page 5)

Here lies the body of Elred. At least he will be when he is dead. But now at this time he's still alive, 14th August '65.

Epitaphs

Here lies Estella – Who transported a large fortune to heaven, in acts of charity, and has gone thither to enjoy it.

Epitaphs

She always said her feet were killing her – but nobody believed her.

Epitaphs

A peerless matron, pride of female life In every state, as widow, maid, or wife; who wedded, to threescore preserved her fame. She lived a phoenix, and expired in flame.

Epitaphs

Here lies William Green, who died in Manchester, Sept. 18, 18__. Had he lived, he would have been buried here.

Epitaphs

Here lies the worst king and the most miserable man in the kingdom.

Epitaphs

At threescore winters' end I died, a cheerless being, sole and sad; the nuptial knot I never tied, and wish my father never had.

Epitaphs

WILLIAM WILSON – Here Lieth W.W., who never more will, trouble you, trouble you.

Epitaphs

I had a lover's quarrel with the world

Epitaphs

Beloved Husband of Joan, A Man With Nature, Who Loved Life & His Jigsaws – "Didjabringabeer"

Epitaphs

Here lies Thomas Smith and what is somewhat rareish, he was born bred and hanged in this e’er parish.

Epitaphs

Beneath this stone now dead to grief Lies Grid the famous Wokag chief. Pause here and think you learned prig, This man was once an Indian big. Consider this, ye lowly one, this man was once a big in-jun. Now he lies here, you too must rot, as sure as pig shall go to pot.

Epitaphs

Here lies – Johnny Yeast – Pardon me – For not rising.

Epitaphs

Bill Blake – was hanged by mistake.

Epitaphs

Here lies Scott Jacobson – Who came upon an evil lich, he didn't even think to run, and ended up in this ditch

Epitaphs

Here into the dust, the mouldering crust, of Eleanour Bachelour's shoven; well versed in the arts of pies, custards, and tarts. And the lucrative skill of the oven. When she lived long enough, she made her last puff, a puff by her husband much praised, now here she doth lie and makes a dirt pie, in hopes that her crust shall be raised.

Epitaphs

At last I get top billing.

Epitaphs

Here lies the Body of Captain Tully. Aged an hundred and nine years fully. And threescore years before, as Mayor, the sword of this city he did bear. Nine of his wives do with him lie, so shall the tenth when she doth die.

Epitaphs

“Here lies my wife in earthy mold, Who when she died and naught but scold. Good friends go softly in your walking lest she should wake and rise up talking”

Epitaphs

We all have a debt – To nature due – I've paid mine – And so must you.

Epitaphs

Here lies one who never sacrificed his reason to superstitious God, nor ever believed that Jonah swallowed the whale.

Epitaphs