Subject: Headlines (Page 63)

Abstention From Sex Does Not Make One Stupid

Website For Penguins

When Elephants Ruled… Hackney

Man Run Over By Freight Train Dies

Lady Jacks Off to Hot Start in Conference

Police Find Burglar Through Yellow Snow He Left Behind

Siamese Twin Kills Brother in Bungled Suicide Attempt

Naturism Seeks Raised Profile

Police Search Home 300 Times, Find Nothing

Man Goes Berserk in Car Salesroom, Many Volvos Hurt

Men With Weapons Cited For Chasing Squirrels

Planes Forced to Land at Airports

E.T.'s Wife Dragged To Court

Alcohol Frequently Seen In Cases

Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni

Death Causes Loneliness, Feeling of Isolation

Study: Gay Clergy Disregarding Church Ban On Celibacy

Divorce Is Like A Lonely Gerbil

The Driver Involved In This Incident Asked That Her Gender Not Be Revealed

Prostitutes Appeal to Pope

Undergrads Flunk Sperm Bank Tests