Subject: Headlines (Page 63)

Abstention From Sex Does Not Make One Stupid

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Website For Penguins

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When Elephants Ruled… Hackney

Headlines

Man Run Over By Freight Train Dies

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Lady Jacks Off to Hot Start in Conference

Headlines Sports

Police Find Burglar Through Yellow Snow He Left Behind

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Siamese Twin Kills Brother in Bungled Suicide Attempt

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Naturism Seeks Raised Profile

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Police Search Home 300 Times, Find Nothing

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Man Goes Berserk in Car Salesroom, Many Volvos Hurt

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Men With Weapons Cited For Chasing Squirrels

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Planes Forced to Land at Airports

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E.T.'s Wife Dragged To Court

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Alcohol Frequently Seen In Cases

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Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni

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Death Causes Loneliness, Feeling of Isolation

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Study: Gay Clergy Disregarding Church Ban On Celibacy

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Divorce Is Like A Lonely Gerbil

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The Driver Involved In This Incident Asked That Her Gender Not Be Revealed

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Prostitutes Appeal to Pope

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Undergrads Flunk Sperm Bank Tests

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