Subject: Sports (Page 88)

Five days shalt thou labour, as the Bible says. The seventh day is the Lord thy God's. The sixth day is for football.

(1917 – 1993) British composer & novelist
Football Sports

It will be like lying in a bath with your feet on the taps, but not as comfortable.

Scottish auto racer
Auto racing Sports

If Marc Bulger throws an interception in Sun Devil Stadium and nobody is there to see it, is it still an interception?

American sports writer
Football Sports

I spent $3 million on drink and $3 million on gambling, but I wasted the rest.

professional golfer
Golf Sports

He had eyes in his ears.

American basketball announcer
Basketball Sports

They told me Jack Bodell was awkward and he was… he fell awkwardly.

American boxer
Boxing Sports

Howard Cosell would rather shave a wild lion with a dull razor than fight me. 

(1942 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing Sports

The Cards lead the Dodgers 4-2 after one inning and that one hasn’t even started.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

There goes Juantorena down the back straight, opening his legs and showing his class.

(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Colemanballs Misspokements Sports

You can make a lot of money in this game; just ask my ex-wives; both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.

(1942 – ) American professional golfer
Golf Money Sports Wives

At 180 mph, when your front wheel wants to play pogo stick, you don't do nothing. You don't sneeze, you don't hiccup, you don't even breathe. All you do is point it and hang on.

American motorcycle racer
Auto racing Sports

No one hit home runs the way Babe (Ruth) did… they were something special… they were like homing pigeons; the ball would leave the bat, pause briefly, suddenly gain its bearings, then take off for the stands.

(1908 – 1989) American baseball player
Baseball Sports

You never had to ask his score; just count the casualties.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Golf Sports

There was three minutes to go about two minutes ago.

English football player & manager
Misspokements Sports Time

It's a good thing Babe Ruth isn't still with the Yankees. If he was, George Steinbrenner would have him bat seventh and say he's overweight.

American baseball player
Baseball Body Fat Sports

The only thing I've noticed is that when I come into the locker room, they all bow.

(1956 – ) Czech American tennis player
Sports

I don't know what impressive is, but Joe was impressive tonight.

wife of fighter Joe Bugner
Boxing Misspokements Sports

You can’t lose an old golf ball.

Golf Murphy’s Laws Sports

Big balls count.

Australian runner
Sports

I make no apologies for their absence… I’m sorry they’re not here.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Misspokements Sports

You rejoin us at a very appropriate time – Ray Illingworth has just relieved himself at the pavilion end!

cricket announcer
Misspokements Sports