Author: Epitaph

Little Johnny had a purple monkey, climbing up a yellow stick, little Johnny licked the purple paint of and it made him deathly sick. They stirred him up with calomel, they tried to move his liver, but all in vain, his little soul was wafted o'er the River.

Epitaphs

Here lies the man Richard, and Mary his wife, whose surname was Prichard. They lived without strife, and the reason was plain. They abounded in riches, they had no care nor pain, and his wife wore the britches.

Epitaphs

Here lies the body of our Anna, Done to death by a banana. It wasn't the fruit that laid her low, But the skin of the thing that made her go.

Epitaphs

Gone Underground For Good

Epitaphs

Uncle Walter Loved To Spend. He Had No Money in the End. But with Many a Whiskey and Many a Wife, He Really Did Enjoy His Life.

Epitaphs

Gone, but not forgiven

Epitaphs

To follow you I am not content, How do I know Which way you went.

Epitaphs

Here lies the Body of Captain Tully. Aged an hundred and nine years fully. And threescore years before, as Mayor, the sword of this city he did bear. Nine of his wives do with him lie, so shall the tenth when she doth die.

Epitaphs

Poor Martha Snell, she's gone away. She would if she could, but she could not stay; she'd two bad legs, and a baddish cough, but her legs it was that carried her off.

Epitaphs

He had six bullets but he needed seven.

Epitaphs

She was good but not brilliant; useful but not great.

Epitaphs

Some have children, others none, Here lies the mother of twenty one.

Epitaphs

Here lies the bones of Eichard Lawton – Whose death alas I was strangely brought on. – Trying his corns one day to mow off. – His razor slipped and cut his toe off. – His toe or rather what it grew to, – An inflimation quickly flew to. – Which took alas to mortifying – And was the cause of Eichards dying.

Epitaphs

Thorp’s Corpse

Epitaphs

Dear God, Thanks

Epitaphs

Here rests an old woman who always was tired, for she lived in a house where no help was hired; Her very last words were, “My friends I am goin*, to a land where there's nothin' of washin' or sewin', and everything there shall be just to ray wishes, for where they don't eat there's no washin' of dishes; the land with sweet anthems is constantly ringin', but having no voice I'll get clear of the singin'." She folded her hands, her latest endeavor, and whispered, "Oh nothin', sweet nothin forever."

Epitaphs

This debt I owe is justly due, and I am come to sleep with you.

Epitaphs

Sacred to the remains of Jonathan Thompson. A pious Christian and affectionate husband. His disconsolate widow continues to carry on his grocery business At the old stand on Main Street: Cheapest and best prices in town.

Epitaphs

Born of woman, killed by lead. I most likely had your wife in bed.

Epitaphs

Here lies a man named Zeke. Second fastest draw in Cripple Creek.

Epitaphs

Accidentally shot as a mark of affection by his brother. After life's fever, I sleep well.

Epitaphs