Author: Epitaph Page 11

Poor Martha Snell, she's gone away. She would if she could, but she could not stay; she'd two bad legs, and a baddish cough, but her legs it was that carried her off.

Here lies Tommy Day, removed from over the way.

Here lies Bryan Wilkinson – The doc said he'd be 'alright,’ Guess doc was all wrong

Here lies the body of Mary Morgan. Like the morning dew she glistened, exhaled, and went to heaven.

In Memory of Jacob, third son of Capt. Jacob Rice, died May 7, 1818 Et. 9 yrs. – His death was occasioned by the fall of a dung fork, one tine penetrating his brain.

This man when alive was a slave, but behold such is fate, having died he is equal in power, to Darius the Great.

Rest In Peace Cousin Huet – We all know you didn't do it

Here lies the body of Emily White, she signalled left, and then turned right.

Here lieth the body of my lovely dear wife Anne, who plays the poker machines whenever she can.

Here lies John Higley whose father and mother were drowned in their passage from America. Had they both lived they would have been buried here.

Here lies England's premier baron, patiently awaiting the last trump.

Here lies, cut down like unripe fruit, The wife of Deacon Amos Shute. She died of drinking too much coffee, Anno Dominy eighteen forty

On the whole I would rather be living in Philadelphia.

Our Little Charlie – He dropped into our world to taste life’s bitter cup, but turned his little head aside, disgusted with the taste and died.

Here lies the body of Johnny Haskell, A lying, thieving, cheating rascal; He always lied, and now he lies, He has no soul and cannot rise.

He was literally a father to all the children of the parish.

Here lies the body of Obadiah Wilkinson – And Bulb, his wife. – Their warfare is accomplished.

See how God works his wonders now and then, here lies a lawyer, and an honest man.

At last, a year-round resident

Don’t Talk So Damn Dumb

Here lies the landlord Tommy Dent In his last cosy tenement.