Author: Epitaph Page 12

Died at the age of 102 at the hands of a justifiably outraged husband.

Epitaphs

Posterity will ne'er survey – A nobler grave than this: – Here lies the bones of Castlereagh: – Stop, traveller, and piss.

Epitaphs

This tombstone is a milestone – Hah! how so? – Because beneath lies Miles – Who's Miles below; – A little man he was, a dwarf in size, – But now stretch’d out, at least Miles long he lies. – His grave though small, contains a space so wide, – It has Miles in breadth, and Miles in length beside.

Epitaphs

Beneath this stone lies Lamb asleep, who died a Lamb who lived a sheep. Many a lamb and sheep he slaughtered but cruel Death the scene has altered.

Epitaphs

Here lies Suzannah Ensign; Lord she is thin

Epitaphs

She was in health at 11.30 A. M. – And left for Heaven at 3.30 P. M.

Epitaphs

My wife lies here. All my tears cannot bring her back, Therefore, I weep.

Epitaphs

This debt I owe is justly due, and I am come to sleep with you.

Epitaphs

I Made Some Good Deals and I Made Some Bad Ones. I Really Went in the Hole With This One.

Epitaphs

Heave a sigh For old John Doak. He didn't know His brakes were broke

Epitaphs

Here doth lye the bodie – Of John Flye, who did die – By a stroke from a sky-rocket – Which hit him on the eye-socket.

Epitaphs

Reader, I've left this world, in which I had a world to do; sweating and fretting to get rich: just such a fool as you.

Epitaphs

I will NOT be right back after this message.

Epitaphs

Here lies William Green, who died in Manchester, Sept. 18, 18__. Had he lived, he would have been buried here.

Epitaphs

Here I lie, taken from life.

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Here lies Dead Tom

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Here lies my wife a sad slatterned shrew. If I said I regretted her, I should lie too.

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A victim of fast women and slow horses.

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Here lies England's premier baron, – Patiently awaiting the last trump.

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Tired of this eternal buttoning and unbuttoning.

Epitaphs

He held the pall at the funeral of Shakspeare.

Epitaphs