Author: Epitaph Page 16

She was in health at 11.30 A. M. – And left for Heaven at 3.30 P. M.

Epitaphs

Shall all we die? We shall die all. All die shall we? Die all we shall.

Epitaphs

The death angel struck Alexander McGlue and gave him protracted repose; he wore a checked shirt and a No. 9 shoe And had a pink wart on his nose. No doubt he is happy a-dwelling in space over on the evergreen shore. His friends are informed that his funeral takes place at precisely a quarter past four.

Epitaphs

Whether sailor or not, for a moment avast, poor Tom's mizzen topsail is laid to the mast; he'll never turn out, or more heave the lead; he's now all aback, nor will sails shoot ahead. He ever was brisk, and tho' now gone to wreck. When he hears the last whistle, he'll jump upon deck.

Epitaphs

Our life is but a summer's day: Some only breakfast, and away; Others to dinner stay, and are full fed; The oldest man but sups, and goes to bed. Large his account who lingers out the day; Who goes the soonest, has the least to pay.

Epitaphs

Bill Blake – was hanged by mistake.

Epitaphs

I bowl'd, I struck, I caught, I stopp'd. Sure life's a game of cricket; I block'd with care, with caution popp'd, yet Death has hit my wicket.

Epitaphs

Here lies Ann Mann, who lived an old maid, but died an old Mann…

Epitaphs

Here lies the body of John Smith. Buried in the cloisters. If he don't jump at the last trump, call, Oysters!

Epitaphs

He didn't believe in God; And when he did, they argued.

Epitaphs

Dear God, Thanks

Epitaphs

Here lies Groucho Marx and Lies and Lies and Lies

Epitaphs

Beneath this stone a lump of clay, lies Uncle Peter Dan'els – who early in the month of May, took off his winter flannels.

Epitaphs

Here lie the remains of John Hall, grocer. The world is not worth a fig, and I have good raisins for saying so.

Epitaphs

His virtues and his pills are so well known, that envy can’t confine them under stone.

Epitaphs

Eliza, sorrowing rears this marble slab to her dear John who died of eating crab.

Epitaphs

Gone home below.

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HA! HA! I’m Pushing Up Daisies!!!

Epitaphs

John Macpherson Was a remarkable person. He stood six feet two Without his shoe, And he was slew At Waterloo.

Epitaphs

When I was in the military, they gave me a medal for killing two men and a discharge for loving one.

Epitaphs

Old Vicar Sutor lieth here, Who had a Mouth from ear to ear. Reader tread lightly on the sod. For if he gapes, you're gone by G —.

Epitaphs