Author: Epitaph Page 18

Here lies my wife in earthly mould, who, when she liv'd, did naught but scold; peace, wake her not, for now she's still, she had, but now I have my will.

Epitaphs

This is the last long resting place, Of Aunt Jemima Jones, Her soul ascended into space, Amidst our tears and groans, She was not pleasing to the eye, Nor had she any brain, And when she talked twas through her nose, Which gave her friends much pain, But still we feel that she was worth, The money that was spent, upon the coffin, hearse and stone (The funeral plumes were lent).

Epitaphs

See, I told you I was SICK!

Epitaphs

I Was Supposed To Live To Be 102 and Be Shot By A Jealous Husband

Epitaphs

I was Carolina Born – and Carolina bred – and here I lay – Carolina dead!

Epitaphs

"Lord, thy grace is free, — why not for me?"

And the Lord answered and said, — "Because thy debts aint paid I”

Epitaphs

Here lays Butch. We planted him raw. He was quick on the trigger – But slow on the draw.

Epitaphs

Here lies Salvino Armalo D'Armati of Florence, the inventor of spectacles. May God pardon his sins!

Epitaphs

Although this stone may moulder into dust, yet Joseph Moodey's name continue must

Epitaphs

Moses White. His grand excellence was that he was genuine.

Epitaphs

Here I lie at the chancel door – And I lie here because I am poor; – For the farther in the more you pay, – But here I lie as warm as they.

Epitaphs

Here lies Groucho Marx and Lies and Lies and Lies

Epitaphs

Died at the age of 102 at the hands of a justifiably outraged husband.

Epitaphs

Ope'd my eyes took a peep. Didn't like it went back to sleep.

Epitaphs

Poor Betty Conway, she drank lemonade at a masquerade, So now she's dead and gone away.

Epitaphs

He held the pall at the funeral of Shakspeare.

Epitaphs

John Rose, Died Jan. 27. 1810, aged 10 years. Dr Friends and companions all, pray warning take by me, don't venture on the ice too far, as `twas the death of me.

Epitaphs

The dust of Melantha Gribbling, swept up at last by the Great Housekeeper

Epitaphs

They abounded in riches but she wore the britches

Epitaphs

Here lies the body of Ephraim Wise. Safely tucked between his two wives. One was Tillie and the other Sue. Both were faithful, loyal, and true. By his request in ground that's hilly. His coffin is set tilted toward Tillie.

Epitaphs

His virtues and his pills are so well known, that envy can’t confine them under stone.

Epitaphs