Author: Epitaph Page 19

Beneath the stone, a lump of clay, lies the man called Peter Hannels, who early in the month of May, took off his winter flannels.

Epitaphs

My father and mother were both insane – I inherited the terrible stain. – My grandfather, grandmother, aunts and uncles – Were lunatics all, and yet died of carbuncles.

Epitaphs

 Here lies the body of Dr Hayward, a man who never voted. Of such is the kingdom of Heaven.

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Here lies the body of Johnny Haskell, A lying, thieving, cheating rascal; He always lied, and now he lies, He has no soul and cannot rise.

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Factory Reject

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… He's done a-catching cod, and gone to meet his God.

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Don’t Talk So Damn Dumb

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I am not grieved, my dearest life. Sleep on, I've got another wife. Therefore, I cannot come to thee For I must go and live with she.

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Sh-h-h

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Jack Lemmon In…

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Here I lie, my name is Ball, I lived, I died, despised by all; and now I cannot chew my crust, I'm gone back to my ancient dust.

Epitaphs

Here lies the man Richard, and Mary his wife, whose surname was Prichard. They lived without strife, and the reason was plain. They abounded in riches, they had no care nor pain, and his wife wore the britches.

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This Empty Urn is Sacred to the Memory of John Revere Who Died Abroad in Finistere: If He Had Lived He Would Have Been Buried Here.

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Here lies John Ross, kick'd by a boss.

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Here lies Bernard Lightfoot who was accidentally killed in his forty fifth year.

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Jonathan Grober died dead sober. Lord thy wonders never cease.

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Grim death took me without any warning, I was well one day, and stone dead next morning.

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She lived a life of virtue and died of the cholera morbus, caused by eating green fruit in hope of a blessed immortality.

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Here lies a man beneath this sod, – Who slandered all except his God, – And him he would have slandered too, – But that his God he never knew.

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Moses White. His grand excellence was that he was genuine.

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I will NOT be right back after this message.

Epitaphs