Author: Epitaph Page 20

See, I told you I was SICK!

Epitaphs

Two great physicians first, my Loving husband tried, to cure my pain, in vain. At last he got a third, and then I died.

Epitaphs

Rest In Peace Cousin Huet – We all know you didn't do it

Epitaphs

DOUBT – Martha Mae “Take the back roads!” • Bill – “It’s five o’clock somewhere!”

Epitaphs

Little Johnny had a purple monkey, climbing up a yellow stick, little Johnny licked the purple paint of and it made him deathly sick. They stirred him up with calomel, they tried to move his liver, but all in vain, his little soul was wafted o'er the River.

Epitaphs

Here lies the father of 29; he would have had more but he didn't have time.

Epitaphs

We all have a debt – To nature due – I've paid mine – And so must you.

Epitaphs

Beneath this stone, in hopes of Zion, doth lie the landlord of the lion; his son keeps on the business still, resigned unto the heavenly will.

Epitaphs

Agreeable to the memory of Mrs Alinda Tewksbury. She was not a beleiver [sic] in the Christian idolitry.

Epitaphs

Beneath these green trees rising to the skies, the planter of them, Isaac Greentree lies! A time shall come when these green trees shall fall, and Isaac Greentree rise above them all.

Epitaphs

Here lies John Auricular, Who in the ways of the Lord walked perpendicular.

Epitaphs

Here lies Jim Shaw, attorney-at-law. When he died the devil cried, give me your paw, Jim Shaw, Attorney at law.

Epitaphs

Planted here beneath sod. At peaceful rest lies brother Claude

Epitaphs

Stephen and Time are now both even. Stephen beat Time and now Time's beat Stephen.

Epitaphs

A zealous locksmith died of late, and did not enter Heaven’s gate. But stood without and would not knock , because he meant to pick the lock.

Epitaphs

He got a fish bone in his throat – And then he sang an angel's note.

Epitaphs

Here lies within this tomb, so calm. Old Giles; pray sound his knell; who thought no song was like a psalm, no music like a knell.

Epitaphs

Mary Weary, Housewife. Dere friends I am going where washing ain't done or cooking or sewing: don't mourn for me now or weep for me never: for I go to do nothing, forever and ever!

Epitaphs

Here lies the body of John Round. Lost at sea and never found.

Epitaphs

I Made Some Good Deals and I Made Some Bad Ones. I Really Went in the Hole With This One.

Epitaphs

Tired of this eternal buttoning and unbuttoning.

Epitaphs