Author: Epitaph Page 20

Here lies Gilles – Used no net, knew no fear, made mis-step, wound up here

Epitaphs

The winter snow congealed his form, but now we know our Uncle’s warm.

Epitaphs

Here lies Groucho Marx and Lies and Lies and Lies

Epitaphs

Here rests an old woman who always was tired, for she lived in a house where no help was hired; Her very last words were, “My friends I am goin*, to a land where there's nothin' of washin' or sewin', and everything there shall be just to ray wishes, for where they don't eat there's no washin' of dishes; the land with sweet anthems is constantly ringin', but having no voice I'll get clear of the singin'." She folded her hands, her latest endeavor, and whispered, "Oh nothin', sweet nothin forever."

Epitaphs

My wife lies here. All my tears cannot bring her back, Therefore, I weep.

Epitaphs

Grim Death To Please His Palate Has Taken My Lettice To Put in His Sallat.

Epitaphs

Here lies George Johnson, He was right, We was wrong, But we strung him up, And now he's gone

Epitaphs

Never born, Never died: visited the planet earth between December 11, 1931 and, January 19, 1990.

Epitaphs

Here lies Johnny Cole. Who died upon my soul after eating a plentiful dinner. While chewing his crust he was turned into dust with his crimes undigested – poor sinner.

Epitaphs

Here lies Slip Mcvey. He would be here today, but bad whiskey and a fast gun put him away

Epitaphs

Here lies Suzannah Ensign; Lord she is thin

Epitaphs

Ruth and Johnny, Side by side, Went out for an auto ride, They hit a bump. Ruth hit a tree, And John kept going – Ruthlessly.

Epitaphs

Here lies Ned. There is nothing more to be said, because we like to speak well of the dead. I came into this world without my consent, and left in the same manner.

Epitaphs

Here lies the body of Edward Hyde. We laid him here because he died.

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Here lies my poor wife, much lamented, She is happy and I am contented.

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Here I lie, my name is Ball, I lived, I died, despised by all; and now I cannot chew my crust, I'm gone back to my ancient dust.

Epitaphs

… But the reason why I am here interred according to my thinking, – Is owing to my good living and hard drinking, – If therefore, good Christians, you wish to live long – Don't drink to much wine, brandy, gin, or any thing strong.

Epitaphs

I don’t want to talk about it now.

Epitaphs

He called Bill Smith a liar

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Beneath the stone, a lump of clay, lies the man called Peter Hannels, who early in the month of May, took off his winter flannels.

Epitaphs

"I knew this was going to happen to me."

Epitaphs