Author: Epitaph Page 7

Upon the fifth day of November, Christ's College lost a privy member; Cupid and death did both their arrows nick, Cupid shot short, but death did hit the prick; Women lament and maidens make great moans, Because the prick is laid beneath the stones.

Epitaphs

“Don’t Try”

Epitaphs

Sacred to the memory of My husband John Barnes Who died January 3, 1803. His comely young widow, aged 23, has many qualifications of a good wife, and yearns to be comforted.

Epitaphs

An excellent husband was this Mr. Danner, – He lived in a thoroughly honorable manner. – He may have had troubles. – But they burst like bubbles. – He's at peace, now with Mary, Jane Susan and Hannah.

Epitaphs

Old Vicar Sutor lieth here, Who had a Mouth from ear to ear. Reader tread lightly on the sod. For if he gapes, you're gone by G —.

Epitaphs

Here lies the wife of brother Thomas, whom tyrant death has torn from us, her husband never shed a tear, until his wife was buried here. And then he made a fearful rout, for fear she might find her way out.

Epitaphs

Rodney Dangerfield – There Goes The Neighborhood

Epitaphs

He didn't believe in God; And when he did, they argued.

Epitaphs

Here lies Gilles – Used no net, knew no fear, made mis-step, wound up here

Epitaphs

This corpse is Phebe Thorps.

Epitaphs

36-33-01-24-17 – Honey you don't know what you did for me, – Always playing the lottery. – The numbers you picked came in to play, – Two days after you passed away. – For this, a huge monument I do erect, – For now I get a yearly check. – How I wish you were alive, – For now we are worth 8.5

Epitaphs

THOMAS O. MURPHY – Sh-h-h.

Epitaphs

DOUBT – Martha Mae “Take the back roads!” • Bill – “It’s five o’clock somewhere!”

Epitaphs

Stranger pause my tale attend, and learn the cause of Hannah’s end. Across the world the wind did blow, she ketched a cold that laid her low. We shed a lot of tears ‘tis true, but life is short – aged 82.

Epitaphs

William Newhall. He ‘rose in health at early dawn, to hail the new born year: before the evening shade came on, he finished his career.

Epitaphs

This wasn’t my idea

Epitaphs

Here lies Salvino Armalo D'Armati of Florence, the inventor of spectacles. May God pardon his sins!

Epitaphs

Ebenezer Dockwood aged forty seven. A miser and a hypocrite and never went to Heaven.

Epitaphs

I Dionysius underneath this tomb – Some sixty years of age have reached my doom. – Ne'er having married, think it sad, – And I wish my father never had.

Epitaphs

Those who cared for him while living, will know whose body is buried here, to others it does not matter.

Epitaphs

My candle burns at both ends, – It will not last the night, – But Oh, my foes, – And Ah, my friends, – It gives a lovely light

Epitaphs