Author Roger Ebert | Just-One-Liners.com

Author: Roger Ebert Page 2

The director, whose name is Pitof, was probably issued with two names at birth and would be wise to use the other one on his next project.

Roger Ebert

(1942 – 2013) American film critic, journalist & screenwriter

Reviews/Criticism “Catwoman”

There is a word for this movie, and that word is: “Ick.”

Roger Ebert

(1942 – 2013) American film critic, journalist & screenwriter

Reviews/Criticism “Good Luck Chuck”

Only enormously talented people could have made Death to Smoochy. Those with lesser gifts would have lacked the nerve to make a film so bad, so miscalculated, so lacking any connection with any possible audience.

Roger Ebert

(1942 – 2013) American film critic, journalist & screenwriter

Reviews/Criticism “Death to Smoochy”

If I ever do a festival of films that deserve to be overlooked, Friends & Lovers is my opening night selection.

Roger Ebert

(1942 – 2013) American film critic, journalist & screenwriter

Reviews/Criticism “Friends and Lovers”

You know when sometimes a film catches fire inside a projector? If it happened with this one, I suspect the audience might cheer.

Roger Ebert

(1942 – 2013) American film critic, journalist & screenwriter

Reviews/Criticism Review of “Revolver”

Spice World is obviously intended as a ripoff of A Hard Day's Night which gave The Beatles to the movies… the huge difference, of course, is that the Beatles were talented — while, let's face it, the Spice Girls could be duplicated by any five women under the age of 30 standing in line at Dunkin' Donuts.

Roger Ebert

(1942 – 2013) American film critic, journalist & screenwriter

Reviews/Criticism “Spice World”

This movie doesn't scrape the bottom of the barrel. This movie isn't the bottom of the barrel. This movie isn't below the bottom of the barrel. This movie doesn't deserve to be mentioned in the same sentence with barrels.

Roger Ebert

(1942 – 2013) American film critic, journalist & screenwriter

Reviews/Criticism “Freddy Got Fingered”

You know you’re in trouble with a sequel when the word of mouth advises you to see the first movie twice instead.

Roger Ebert

(1942 – 2013) American film critic, journalist & screenwriter

Reviews/Criticism “The Twilight Saga: New Moon”

My guess is that African Americans will be offended by the movie, and whites will be embarrassed. The movie will bring us all together, I imagine, in paralyzing boredom.

Roger Ebert

(1942 – 2013) American film critic, journalist & screenwriter

Reviews/Criticism Of the film “B.A.P.S”

You know you’re in trouble when you’re reduced to praising a movie for its absence of fart jokes, and have to add ‘almost.’

Roger Ebert

(1942 – 2013) American film critic, journalist & screenwriter

Reviews/Criticism “Saving Silverman”

The movie is an assault on the eyes, the ears, the brain, common sense, and the human desire to be entertained. No matter what they're charging to get in, it's worth more to get out.

Roger Ebert

(1942 – 2013) American film critic, journalist & screenwriter

Reviews/Criticism Of “Armageddon”

Wild Wild West is a comedy dead zone. You stare in disbelief as scenes flop and die. The movie is all concept and no content; the elaborate special effects are like watching money burn on the screen…

Roger Ebert

(1942 – 2013) American film critic, journalist & screenwriter

Reviews/Criticism “Wild Wild West”

Saving Silverman is so bad in so many different ways that perhaps you should see it, as an example of the lowest slopes of the bell-shaped curve.

Roger Ebert

(1942 – 2013) American film critic, journalist & screenwriter

Reviews/Criticism “Saving Silverman”

It's the worst kind of bad film: the kind that gets you all worked up and then lets you down, instead of just being lousy from the first shot.

Roger Ebert

(1942 – 2013) American film critic, journalist & screenwriter

Reviews/Criticism Snake eyes

Add it all up, and what you’ve got here is a waste of good electricity. I’m not talking about the electricity between the actors. I’m talking about the current to the projector.

Roger Ebert

(1942 – 2013) American film critic, journalist & screenwriter

Reviews/Criticism Review of “One Woman or Two”

The Last Airbender is an agonizing experience in every category I can think of and others still waiting to be invented.

Roger Ebert

(1942 – 2013) American film critic, journalist & screenwriter

Reviews/Criticism “The Last Airbender”

Dirty Love wasn't written and directed, it was committed. Here is a film so pitiful, it doesn't rise to the level of badness.

Roger Ebert

(1942 – 2013) American film critic, journalist & screenwriter

Reviews/Criticism “Dirty Love”

I've been reviewing movies for a long time, and I can't think of one that more dramatically shoots itself in the foot.

Roger Ebert

(1942 – 2013) American film critic, journalist & screenwriter

Reviews/Criticism “Diary of a Mad Black Woman”

John Waters’ Pink Flamingos has been restored for its 25th anniversary revival, and with any luck at all that means I won’t have to see it again for another 25 years. If I haven’t retired by then, I will.

Roger Ebert

(1942 – 2013) American film critic, journalist & screenwriter

Reviews/Criticism “Pink Flamingos”

I will one day be thin… but Vincent Gallo will always be the director of The Brown Bunny.

Roger Ebert

(1942 – 2013) American film critic, journalist & screenwriter

Reviews/Criticism “The Brown Bunny”

Going to see Godzilla at the Palais of the Cannes Film Festival is like attending a satanic ritual in St. Peter's Basilica… it was the festival's closing film, coming at the end like the horses in a parade, perhaps for the same reason.

Roger Ebert

(1942 – 2013) American film critic, journalist & screenwriter

Reviews/Criticism “Godzilla”

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Author: Roger Ebert Page 2

The director, whose name is Pitof, was probably issued with two names at birth and would be wise to use the other one on his next project.

There is a word for this movie, and that word is: “Ick.”

Only enormously talented people could have made Death to Smoochy. Those with lesser gifts would have lacked the nerve to make a film so bad, so miscalculated, so lacking any connection with any possible audience.

If I ever do a festival of films that deserve to be overlooked, Friends & Lovers is my opening night selection.

You know when sometimes a film catches fire inside a projector? If it happened with this one, I suspect the audience might cheer.

This movie doesn't scrape the bottom of the barrel. This movie isn't the bottom of the barrel. This movie isn't below the bottom of the barrel. This movie doesn't deserve to be mentioned in the same sentence with barrels.

You know you’re in trouble with a sequel when the word of mouth advises you to see the first movie twice instead.

My guess is that African Americans will be offended by the movie, and whites will be embarrassed. The movie will bring us all together, I imagine, in paralyzing boredom.

You know you’re in trouble when you’re reduced to praising a movie for its absence of fart jokes, and have to add ‘almost.’

The movie is an assault on the eyes, the ears, the brain, common sense, and the human desire to be entertained. No matter what they're charging to get in, it's worth more to get out.

Wild Wild West is a comedy dead zone. You stare in disbelief as scenes flop and die. The movie is all concept and no content; the elaborate special effects are like watching money burn on the screen…

Saving Silverman is so bad in so many different ways that perhaps you should see it, as an example of the lowest slopes of the bell-shaped curve.

It's the worst kind of bad film: the kind that gets you all worked up and then lets you down, instead of just being lousy from the first shot.

Add it all up, and what you’ve got here is a waste of good electricity. I’m not talking about the electricity between the actors. I’m talking about the current to the projector.

The Last Airbender is an agonizing experience in every category I can think of and others still waiting to be invented.

Dirty Love wasn't written and directed, it was committed. Here is a film so pitiful, it doesn't rise to the level of badness.

I've been reviewing movies for a long time, and I can't think of one that more dramatically shoots itself in the foot.

John Waters’ Pink Flamingos has been restored for its 25th anniversary revival, and with any luck at all that means I won’t have to see it again for another 25 years. If I haven’t retired by then, I will.

I will one day be thin… but Vincent Gallo will always be the director of The Brown Bunny.

Going to see Godzilla at the Palais of the Cannes Film Festival is like attending a satanic ritual in St. Peter's Basilica… it was the festival's closing film, coming at the end like the horses in a parade, perhaps for the same reason.