Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Author: Ted Knight
I’ve sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn’t want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.
Ted Knight
(1923 – 1986) American actor
TV/Movie Quotes
As Judge Smails in “Caddyshack”
It’s actually tomorrow in Tokyo. Do you realize that there are people alive here in Minneapolis who are already dead in Tokyo?
Ted Knight
(1923 – 1986) American actor
TV/Movie Quotes
As Ted Baxter in “The Mary Tyer Moore Show”
Danny, I’m having a party this weekend; … how would you like to come over and mow my lawn?
Ted Knight
(1923 – 1986) American actor
TV/Movie Quotes
As Judge Smails in “Caddyshack”
I’ve just been handed a bulletin: “You have something on your front tooth!”
Ted Knight
(1923 – 1986) American actor
TV/Movie Quotes
As Ted Baxter in “The Mary Tyer Moore Show”
Folks, I’ve just received a special news bulletin: “You have something on your front tooth.”
Ted Knight
(1923 – 1986) American actor
TV/Movie Quotes
As Ted Baxter in “The Mary Tyer Moore Show”
Lou: Ted, just-just skip to the finish of the dream. Tell us how it ended.Ted: Oh like all my dreams end, with Marlo Thomas and Winston Churchill applauding me.
Ted Knight
(1923 – 1986) American actor
TV/Movie Quotes
As Ted Baxter in “The Mary Tyer Moore Show”