Quotes and One Liners

(1955 – ) American actor, comedian, producer, director & singer

[To Lilith] I could look at you if I wanted to, but frankly, I’ve grown tired of counting the comb marks in your hair.

(1955 – ) American actor, comedian, producer, director & singer

I know she's a bit touchy about her age – even though it's not the first time she's turned 40.

Age TV/Movie Quotes As Frasier Crane in “Frasier”

(1955 – ) American actor, comedian, producer, director & singer

Niles and I have decided to donate all your things to charity. We’re donating your clothes to the blind.

Clothing TV/Movie Quotes As Frasier Crane in “Frasier”

(1955 – ) American actor, comedian, producer, director & singer

Cliff: Hey Doc, ah, what do you think the toughest thing to cut through is?
Frasier: Your unending bull.

(1955 – ) American actor, comedian, producer, director & singer

He tried wearing an allergy tag, but his neck was too weak to support it.

(1955 – ) American actor, comedian, producer, director & singer

Dad, the odds of me knowing the score to the Mariners game is about the same as you knowing the score to Pacific Overtures.

Self TV/Movie Quotes As Frasier Crane in “Frasier”

(1955 – ) American actor, comedian, producer, director & singer

Catherine: Your wife is really lucky.
Frasier: Well, I’m sure she’d say the same thing, especially now that our marriage is over.

Marriage TV/Movie Quotes As Frasier Crane in “Frasier”

(1955 – ) American actor, comedian, producer, director & singer

Frasier: I asked Dad to get me a bran muffin. You know what he said to me? “What’s the magic word?”
Niles: You’re kidding.
Frasier: He didn’t think it was very amusing when I said, “Rest home!”

(1955 – ) American actor, comedian, producer, director & singer

He’s perfect for her – he has no apparent spine, and she can wrap him round her little finger.

(1955 – ) American actor, comedian, producer, director & singer

With the Crane boys genes and Lilith’s contribution, I’m not sure the NFL is holding it’s breath.

TV/Movie Quotes As Frasier Crane in “Frasier” Of his son

(1955 – ) American actor, comedian, producer, director & singer

Sam, I had the most incredible evening. Last night, I dreamed about something – not Diane… well, she was in the background chattering on about something, naked, but the important thing is, I was a therapist again.

(1955 – ) American actor, comedian, producer, director & singer

Norm: Hey, Frasier, you’re a doctor. What happens to old, dead skin?
Frasier: Apparently it sits on barstools and drinks beer all day.

(1955 – ) American actor, comedian, producer, director & singer

I can see you’re still waiting on that spine donor.

(1955 – ) American actor, comedian, producer, director & singer

If I had trouble taking orders from a woman, Frederick (his son) would have never been conceived.

(1955 – ) American actor, comedian, producer, director & singer

Frasier: You’re not alone.
Agoraphobe: But I AM alone!

TV/Movie Quotes Agoraphobia As Frasier Crane in “Frasier”

(1955 – ) American actor, comedian, producer, director & singer

This is a woman who thinks the Spanish Inquisition was just tough love for heretics.

Reviews/Criticism TV/Movie Quotes As Frasier Crane in “Frasier”

(1955 – ) American actor, comedian, producer, director & singer

Then Gil and Noel sung a charming duet of “Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better”. They were both wrong.

Reviews/Criticism TV/Movie Quotes As Frasier Crane in “Frasier”

(1955 – ) American actor, comedian, producer, director & singer

… without embarrassing parents there’d be no psychology.

Family Parents TV/Movie Quotes As Frasier Crane in “Frasier”

(1955 – ) American actor, comedian, producer, director & singer

In elementary school, I made an ashtray for Dad… it caught fire.

Self TV/Movie Quotes As Frasier Crane in “Frasier”

(1955 – ) American actor, comedian, producer, director & singer

How can we possibly use sex to get what we want? … sex is what we want!