Subject: Headlines (Page 99)

Hornets Will Accent Throwing Game in ’81

Mayor Bans SEX At Local Library

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

Local Pastor’s Widow Asks For Donations Of Deviled Eggs In Lieu of Flowers

Shot Man Mistaken For Feral Cat: Police

Jail Guard Probe in Prison Sex

Wife Forgives Killer Elephant

Straw’s Pledge To Rape Victims

Lions Put On Dog Show

Twinkies Shortage Looms

FEMA Probe Reveals Rain Caused Floods

12 On Their Way To Cruise Among Dead In Plane Crash

Shuttle Traveling Nearly 18 Times Speed of Light

Fresno Council to Talk About Talking Less at Meetings

Queen to Skip Chuck Nups

Body Found On Boat Seized By Bailiffs And Due To Be Auctioned

11 High Students Score Perfect Grade

Stud Tires Out

Man Accused Of Excessively Passing Wind

Threat Disrupts Plan to Meet About Threats

Hitler Hits Tourists