Last words | Just-One-Liners.com

Subject: Death » Last words

Last words:

Humorous, ironic, satirical or just plain odd last words

I am dying. Please… bring me a toothpick.

(1873 – 1907) French writer

Last words For a time these words were considered a final expression of his absurdist humor however a doctor asserted that they were perfectly understandable due to his dehydration.

Sergeant, the Spanish bullet isn't made that will kill me.

William ‘Buckey’ O'Neill

(1860 – 1898) American soldier with the Rough Riders, sheriff, newspaper editor, politician, gambler & lawyer

Last words O'Neill was standing up while under fire. A sergeant shouted to him "Captain a bullet is sure to hit you!" After these words O'Neill then calmly turned to another officer and was shot in the head.

I'll sleep well tonight.

Henry Ford

(1863 – 1947) automobile industrialist

Last words He died of a cerebral hemorrhage.

We all get the same amount of ice. The rich get it in the summer. The poor get it in the winter.

William ‘Bat’ Masterson

(1853 – 1921) American buffalo hunter, U.S. Marshal, Army scout, gambler, frontier lawman & newspaperman

Last words

I will not go down to posterity talking bad grammar.

Benjamin Disraeli

(1804 – 1881) British prime minister, politician & author

Communication Language Last words

I think you're right, Wyatt. I can't see a god damn thing.

Morgan Earp

(1851 – 1882) younger brother of Deputy U.S. Marshals Virgil & Wyatt Earp

Last words Agreeing with Wyatt’s belief there is no life after death.

Do not hack me as you did my Lord Russell.

James Scott

(1649 – 1685) English nobleman

Last words He led an unsuccessful rebellion against Charles's successor James II and was executed. His last words were addressed to the executioner.

Pardon me, sir. I did not do it on purpose.

Marie Antoinette

(1755 – 1793) Archduchess of Austria & the Queen of France

Last words As she approached the guillotine convicted of treason and about to be beheaded she accidentally stepped on the foot of her executioner.

Now why did I do that?

General William Erskine

(1728 – 1795) British Army commander

Last words Said after he jumped from a window in Lisbon Portugal in 1813.

Now, now, my good man, this is no time for making enemies.

Voltaire

(1694 – 1778) French author, humanist & satirist

Last words Subject of dispute When asked by a priest to renounce Satan

Dammit… don't you dare ask God to help me!

Joan Crawford

(1905 – 1977) American actress

Last words Said to her housekeeper who began to pray aloud

Boy, fetch my fiddle.

Rob Roy MacGregor

(1671 – 1734) Scottish folk hero

Last words

I'm tired. I'm going back to bed.

George Reeves

(1914 – 1959) American actor best known for his role as Superman

Last words The last thing he said to his friends before shooting himself in his bedroom.

No! I didn't come here to make a speech. I came here to die.

Crawford Goldsby

Cherokee Bill (1876 – 1896) American convicted murderer & outlaw

Last words When asked if he had anything to say before he was hanged

And now, I am officially dead.

Abram Stevens Hewitt

(1822 – 1903) American teacher, lawyer, iron manufacturer & politician

Last words Hewitt had just removed the oxygen tube from his mouth in the hospital.

I'm glad that's over.

Eric Morecambe

(1926 – 1984) English comedian

Last words After going off stage after a solo performance

Absolutely not!

Montgomery Clift

(1920 – 1966) American film & stage actor

Last words After being asked if he wanted to watch "The Misfits" a movie in which he appeared

That's good. Go on, read some more.

Warren G. Harding

(1865 – 1923) 29th U.S. President

Last words To his wife – who was reading him flattering newspaper accounts

I feel sleepy, a short time of rest would do me good.

Gustav III

(1746 – 1792) King of Sweden

Last words He had been shot at a masquerade ball two weeks earlier.

Is it safe?

William Palmer

(1824-1856) doctor & convicted multiple murderer

Last words Before stepping on the gallows trapdoor

I’m not unwell, I’m f**king dying.

Jeffrey Bernard

(1932 – 1997) British journalist

Death Last words

Quotes and One Liners

humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more

Categories

Additional Categories

Oops...

Some Popular Authors