Author: Rick Bayan Page 3

X-Ray: A diagnostic tool used to detect existing cancerous growths and create new ones for future examinations to reveal.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Health

State-of-the-Art: Soon-to-be-obsolete.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions

Math Anxiety: An intense lifelong fear of two trains approaching each other at speeds of 60 and 80 mph.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Science/Weather

Connoisseur: One who attains an obsessive knowledge of wines, audio equipment, cats or French cheeses so as to confer a sense of inadequacy on those who would simply enjoy them.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions

Hooker: A working woman commonly despised by people who sell themselves for even less.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Sex

Obituary: A final summation of our lives that, for most of us, occupies about three inches of space in what will shortly become cage liner for our neighbor’s parakeet.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Death Definitions

Bookcase: A piece of furniture used in America to house bowling trophies and elvis collectibles.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions

Lecher: A stud with liver spots.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions

Hip: Smartly attuned to the latest cutting-edge cliches.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions

Zoo: A pleasant and instructive wildlife park, lately denounced for depriving animals of their right to starve or be eaten alive in their natural habitats.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Animals Definitions

Ideologue: Typically an obscure humorless zealot who finds fulfillment by spouting the ideas of famous humorless zealots.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Beliefs Definitions

Consultant: A jobless person who shows executives how to work.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Work

Revolutionary: An oppressed person waiting for the opportunity to become an oppressor.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions