Author Rob Vaux | Just-One-Liners.com

Author: Rob Vaux Page 2

I’d give real money to see the perpetrators of Chicago torn apart by dingoes.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism Chicago

I suppose certain college fraternities could make screening it part of their hazing rituals.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Caligula”

At least it’s not in 3D.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “The Hangover Part II”

God help us, there’s going to be a director’s cut, isn’t there?

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism Review of “Eragon”

Whew! That was close: something almost happened there for a minute.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2”

It doesn’t suck. Please take a moment to pick your jaw up off the floor and we’ll continue.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Rocky Balboa”

While Babylon A.D. isn’t the worst big-budget sci-fi film ever made, it comes near enough to merit avoiding at all costs.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Babylon A.D.”

Fool! Dost thou not know that creepy children have cursed our screens in numbers too great to count, and by now, we find them marginally less terrifying than navel lint?

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “The Reaping”

You could do worse… by which I mean you couldn't possibly do worse.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Hercules”

House of Wax is cheap, dirty entertainment, and it knows it.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “House of Wax”

If you hear the phrase "Italian caveman epic" and your heart doesn't sing at least a little bit, then I pity your sad and joyless existence.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Yor the Hunter from the Future”

By trying to convince us that we’re having a good time even as it pounds us senseless, Speed Racer moves beyond mediocrity and into the realm of active irritant.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Speed Racer”

As a routine thriller Firewall is barely functional, but as a waste of talent, it’s positively amazing.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Firewall”

I suppose this is what we get for encouraging the man.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Rambo (Rambo IV)” Sylvester Stallone

My poor brain hung in there for as long as it could, but it lost its grip during the giant chicken attack and I haven’t seen it since.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “10 000 B.C.”

Yeah Johnny, it’s got a Hemi. Too bad the rest of your movie is such a broken-down lemon.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer”

Fee. Fi. Fo. Meh.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Miscellaneous “Jack the Giant Slayer”

It's flawless in its flaws, without a single redeeming element to obscure its idealized awfulness.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Nutcracker in 3D”

Rarely has the phrase "going through the motions" felt more fitting.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Miscellaneous “R.I.P.D.”

A living testament to how low a studio will stoop to generate a few bucks.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Miscellaneous “Jaws 3”

This couple has endured for over 900 years; the least Tristan & Isolde can do is show us a reason why.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Tristan & Isolde”

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Author: Rob Vaux Page 2

I’d give real money to see the perpetrators of Chicago torn apart by dingoes.

I suppose certain college fraternities could make screening it part of their hazing rituals.

At least it’s not in 3D.

God help us, there’s going to be a director’s cut, isn’t there?

Whew! That was close: something almost happened there for a minute.

It doesn’t suck. Please take a moment to pick your jaw up off the floor and we’ll continue.

While Babylon A.D. isn’t the worst big-budget sci-fi film ever made, it comes near enough to merit avoiding at all costs.

Fool! Dost thou not know that creepy children have cursed our screens in numbers too great to count, and by now, we find them marginally less terrifying than navel lint?

You could do worse… by which I mean you couldn't possibly do worse.

House of Wax is cheap, dirty entertainment, and it knows it.

If you hear the phrase "Italian caveman epic" and your heart doesn't sing at least a little bit, then I pity your sad and joyless existence.

By trying to convince us that we’re having a good time even as it pounds us senseless, Speed Racer moves beyond mediocrity and into the realm of active irritant.

As a routine thriller Firewall is barely functional, but as a waste of talent, it’s positively amazing.

I suppose this is what we get for encouraging the man.

My poor brain hung in there for as long as it could, but it lost its grip during the giant chicken attack and I haven’t seen it since.

Yeah Johnny, it’s got a Hemi. Too bad the rest of your movie is such a broken-down lemon.

Fee. Fi. Fo. Meh.

It's flawless in its flaws, without a single redeeming element to obscure its idealized awfulness.

Rarely has the phrase "going through the motions" felt more fitting.

A living testament to how low a studio will stoop to generate a few bucks.

This couple has endured for over 900 years; the least Tristan & Isolde can do is show us a reason why.