Author Rob Vaux | Just-One-Liners.com

Author: Rob Vaux Page 2

Sun Tzu believed that becoming predictable would lead to disaster. Apparently, the creators of The Art of War couldn’t be bothered to take him to heart.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “The Art of War“

Stop for a moment and ponder just how stupid it is to blow the ending of your movie in the title.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn”

It’s obvious that nobody believed in this project longer than it took for the check to clear.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “The Sentinel”

My poor brain hung in there for as long as it could, but it lost its grip during the giant chicken attack and I haven’t seen it since.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “10 000 B.C.”

You could do worse… by which I mean you couldn't possibly do worse.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Hercules”

Only someone so smart could make a movie this stupid.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “My Soul to Take” Writer/director Wes Craven

Is this what we’ve been reduced to? A film whose noise and explosions are separated from the season’s other noise and explosions solely by the fact that they’re painted blue?

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Poseidon”

I’d give real money to see the perpetrators of Chicago torn apart by dingoes.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism Chicago

I suppose certain college fraternities could make screening it part of their hazing rituals.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Caligula”

Yeah Johnny, it’s got a Hemi. Too bad the rest of your movie is such a broken-down lemon.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer”

A living testament to how low a studio will stoop to generate a few bucks.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Miscellaneous “Jaws 3”

I suppose this is what we get for encouraging the man.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Rambo (Rambo IV)” Sylvester Stallone

Julianne Moore] spends the entire film walking the razor’s edge: gauging the difference between brilliance and disaster before assertively losing her balance.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Freedomland”

While Babylon A.D. isn’t the worst big-budget sci-fi film ever made, it comes near enough to merit avoiding at all costs.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Babylon A.D.”

Psst! DreamWorks! Your Nemo envy is showing!

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Shark Tale”

You’ll have more fun setting fire to yourself in the parking lot. You’ll be more entertained getting hit by a bus.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever”

That isn’t brimstone we’re smelling on Ghost Rider. It’s something else.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Ghost Rider”

No, Cameron! Not another musical interlude! Please, I’ll be good!

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Elizabethtown”

Dragging your boyfriend/husband to this movie will give him the leverage to demand multiple screenings of Jerry Bruckheimer films as penance. Ladies, you have been warned.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Must Love Dogs”

Not even Ian McKellan can bring it to life… and when Ian McKellan throws in the towel, you know the difficulties are too large to fix.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism The Da Vinci Code

At least it’s not in 3D.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “The Hangover Part II”

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Author: Rob Vaux Page 2

Sun Tzu believed that becoming predictable would lead to disaster. Apparently, the creators of The Art of War couldn’t be bothered to take him to heart.

Stop for a moment and ponder just how stupid it is to blow the ending of your movie in the title.

It’s obvious that nobody believed in this project longer than it took for the check to clear.

My poor brain hung in there for as long as it could, but it lost its grip during the giant chicken attack and I haven’t seen it since.

You could do worse… by which I mean you couldn't possibly do worse.

Only someone so smart could make a movie this stupid.

Is this what we’ve been reduced to? A film whose noise and explosions are separated from the season’s other noise and explosions solely by the fact that they’re painted blue?

I’d give real money to see the perpetrators of Chicago torn apart by dingoes.

I suppose certain college fraternities could make screening it part of their hazing rituals.

Yeah Johnny, it’s got a Hemi. Too bad the rest of your movie is such a broken-down lemon.

A living testament to how low a studio will stoop to generate a few bucks.

I suppose this is what we get for encouraging the man.

Julianne Moore] spends the entire film walking the razor’s edge: gauging the difference between brilliance and disaster before assertively losing her balance.

While Babylon A.D. isn’t the worst big-budget sci-fi film ever made, it comes near enough to merit avoiding at all costs.

Psst! DreamWorks! Your Nemo envy is showing!

You’ll have more fun setting fire to yourself in the parking lot. You’ll be more entertained getting hit by a bus.

That isn’t brimstone we’re smelling on Ghost Rider. It’s something else.

No, Cameron! Not another musical interlude! Please, I’ll be good!

Dragging your boyfriend/husband to this movie will give him the leverage to demand multiple screenings of Jerry Bruckheimer films as penance. Ladies, you have been warned.

Not even Ian McKellan can bring it to life… and when Ian McKellan throws in the towel, you know the difficulties are too large to fix.

At least it’s not in 3D.