Author Rob Vaux | Just-One-Liners.com

Author: Rob Vaux Page 2

It's flawless in its flaws, without a single redeeming element to obscure its idealized awfulness.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Nutcracker in 3D”

Only someone so smart could make a movie this stupid.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “My Soul to Take” Writer/director Wes Craven

Fee. Fi. Fo. Meh.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Miscellaneous “Jack the Giant Slayer”

Yeah Johnny, it’s got a Hemi. Too bad the rest of your movie is such a broken-down lemon.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer”

You could do worse… by which I mean you couldn't possibly do worse.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Hercules”

House of Wax is cheap, dirty entertainment, and it knows it.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “House of Wax”

Stop for a moment and ponder just how stupid it is to blow the ending of your movie in the title.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn”

Real-life military trainers – regardless of gender – never make you say, ‘Wow you’re hot!’ They make you say, ‘I’ll do whatever you want, please don’t hurt me.’

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Annapolis”

You say ‘psychotic codependency’ like it’s a bad thing.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Crazy Love”

Dragging your boyfriend/husband to this movie will give him the leverage to demand multiple screenings of Jerry Bruckheimer films as penance. Ladies, you have been warned.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Must Love Dogs”

Robbing casinos? Shit, these guys should be in charge of Katrina relief!

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Ocean’s Thirteen”

I suppose this is what we get for encouraging the man.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Rambo (Rambo IV)” Sylvester Stallone

A living testament to how low a studio will stoop to generate a few bucks.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Miscellaneous “Jaws 3”

You can actually hear the writers pulling ideas out of their butts and flinging them willy-nilly at the screen.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Night at the Museum 2: Battle of the Smithsonian”

By trying to convince us that we’re having a good time even as it pounds us senseless, Speed Racer moves beyond mediocrity and into the realm of active irritant.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Speed Racer”

Sun Tzu believed that becoming predictable would lead to disaster. Apparently, the creators of The Art of War couldn’t be bothered to take him to heart.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “The Art of War“

Psst! DreamWorks! Your Nemo envy is showing!

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Shark Tale”

Though a scant 100 minutes long, After Earth feels longer and slower than your average PBS pledge drive.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Miscellaneous “After Earth”

Fool! Dost thou not know that creepy children have cursed our screens in numbers too great to count, and by now, we find them marginally less terrifying than navel lint?

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “The Reaping”

It's a car movie made by people who couldn't find reverse in a Volkswagen; a puzzle box thriller assembled by the functionally insane.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Getaway”

As a routine thriller Firewall is barely functional, but as a waste of talent, it’s positively amazing.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Firewall”

Quotes and One Liners

humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more

Categories

Additional Categories

Oops...

Some Popular Authors

Author: Rob Vaux Page 2

It's flawless in its flaws, without a single redeeming element to obscure its idealized awfulness.

Only someone so smart could make a movie this stupid.

Fee. Fi. Fo. Meh.

Yeah Johnny, it’s got a Hemi. Too bad the rest of your movie is such a broken-down lemon.

You could do worse… by which I mean you couldn't possibly do worse.

House of Wax is cheap, dirty entertainment, and it knows it.

Stop for a moment and ponder just how stupid it is to blow the ending of your movie in the title.

Real-life military trainers – regardless of gender – never make you say, ‘Wow you’re hot!’ They make you say, ‘I’ll do whatever you want, please don’t hurt me.’

You say ‘psychotic codependency’ like it’s a bad thing.

Dragging your boyfriend/husband to this movie will give him the leverage to demand multiple screenings of Jerry Bruckheimer films as penance. Ladies, you have been warned.

Robbing casinos? Shit, these guys should be in charge of Katrina relief!

I suppose this is what we get for encouraging the man.

A living testament to how low a studio will stoop to generate a few bucks.

You can actually hear the writers pulling ideas out of their butts and flinging them willy-nilly at the screen.

By trying to convince us that we’re having a good time even as it pounds us senseless, Speed Racer moves beyond mediocrity and into the realm of active irritant.

Sun Tzu believed that becoming predictable would lead to disaster. Apparently, the creators of The Art of War couldn’t be bothered to take him to heart.

Psst! DreamWorks! Your Nemo envy is showing!

Though a scant 100 minutes long, After Earth feels longer and slower than your average PBS pledge drive.

Fool! Dost thou not know that creepy children have cursed our screens in numbers too great to count, and by now, we find them marginally less terrifying than navel lint?

It's a car movie made by people who couldn't find reverse in a Volkswagen; a puzzle box thriller assembled by the functionally insane.

As a routine thriller Firewall is barely functional, but as a waste of talent, it’s positively amazing.