Author: Roseanne Barr Page 2
My husband complained to; ‘I can’t remember when we last had sex,’ and I said; well I can and that’s why why we ain’t doin’ it.
(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
To expect life to treat you good is as foolish as hoping a bull won’t hit you because you are a vegetarian.
(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
People say to me, “You’re not feminine;” well, they can just suck my d**k.
(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
Men can read maps better than women… cause only the male mind could conceive of one inch equalling a hundred miles.
(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
In Tulsa, restaurants have signs that say, 'Sorry, we're open.’
(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
Excuse the mess but we live here.
(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
My husband and I didn’t sign a pre-nuptial agreement; we signed a mutual suicide pact.
(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer