Author: Roseanne Barr Page 2
Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself.
(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
If men knew how to do it, they wouldn’t have to pay for it.
(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
Excuse the mess but we live here.
(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
My husband and I didn’t sign a pre-nuptial agreement; we signed a mutual suicide pact.
(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
The world makes you into a bitch, no matter how quietly you go, so you may as well go kicking and screaming.
(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
You may marry the man of your dreams, ladies, but fourteen years later you're married to a couch that burps.
(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
I know how to do anything — I’m a mom.
(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer